It’s actually now May 23 and I’m writing this from Guangzhou. Yesterday
was a very emotional day.
We ate the usual breakfast buffet--which we’re giving about a 2 on a scale
of 1-10. When the other adoptive families in our hotel heard that we got
to leave last night instead of this morning, they were quite jealous. The
Majestic Hotel, at least in our experience, was a 4 star lobby with 2 star
rooms and a 1-2 star breakfast. We weren’t terribly impressed. But it did
the job.
After breakfast we hopped into two taxis and headed for the foster
family’s home. To enter their apartment complex, you stop in the middle of
a block on a normal, busy Nanning street and enter a small side alley.
This alley takes you past rows and rows of apartment buildings—concrete,
with bars on the outside of windows, with one set of apartments facing
another set of apartments for several rows. In between the apartment rows
are small strips of land with concrete pedestrian areas, sorta like a long
courtyard. Some trees and greenery are also in this area, but not a lot.
As we entered this area, I was walking with Jane, carrying GG, when I
suddenly heard Dh say, “Just a minute!” behind us.
I turn around to see Anakin heaving into an area under a tree. That was
the first we knew that he didn’t feel well. He said his stomach had only
felt slightly queasy and that he was fine now. He and Dh confessed that
they’d consumed water the night before at a pizza restaurant. Apparently,
they thought it was safe because Happy (in Beijing!) told us that water in
regular restaurants was okay. They thought it applied here. Lizzi didn’t
agree and had refused to drink the water. I hadn’t gone along with the two
younger boys. So after insisting he was fine, we headed toward the foster
family’s apartment. We hadn’t gone more than a few steps when a young
woman ran up to GG (whom I was holding in the Ergo) and started talking to
him and to Jane. GG started crying and reaching for her. She started
crying. They put their heads together and cried, all while I was holding
him. She was obviously very, very smitten by him. In talking with her,
Jane figured out that she was the girlfriend of the 3rd boy in the foster
family.
We learned that the foster family has four adult children, one girl and
three boys. They were born before the one child policy. It was a little
unclear to me exactly who lived in the apartment, but I think the foster
parents (ages 66 & 63), a daughter-in-law and granddaughter (this son
works in Guangdong and only comes home 2x/year), and perhaps another
unmarried son and daughter?
We climbed a LOT of stairs to reach their home on the sixth floor. We
were greeted by the foster father, 66, who seemed like a really nice,
easy-going fellow. The girlfriend of the son came along and we also met
the daughter-in-law and the granddaughter. At first I couldn’t figure out
where the foster mom was, but we soon learned that she was in the bedroom,
feeding a new foster baby.
As soon as we entered the small, central living area, we were offered a
chair and snacks. (Lychee, soft drinks, candy, crackers.) GG immediately
started bawling, hard. Someone told me to let him out of the Ergo (can’t
even recall at this point who it was, maybe Jane?) and he started running
around from person to person, crying. He was obviously VERY attached to
this entire, loving family. They took turns holding him, wiping his tears,
pacifying him with treat after treat after treat. (At some point Jane said that he was going to get sick from so much sugar.) He ran into the bedroom
in search of “granny.” I finally followed, to find Granny (fmom) sitting
on the edge of the bed, holding him, tears streaming down both their
faces. I put my arm around her and gave her a little hug, but it was all
she could do to even notice my presence as she was so focused on GG’s
pain. She held him and stroked him. And then she told him—several
times—that I am his momma (she actually said “biological mom” which made
Jane laugh), and that Dh is his “biological” dad and that we are his
family now. Oooooohhhhh, did that ever set him off. He’d scream an
ear-piercing scream, kick, and protest with everything he was worth. He’d
scream, “I want sleep with Granny!!!!”
This routine went on for quite some time. He was quite upset. They’d
console him with treats or take turns having him sit on their laps and
then they’d tell him that we are his family and he’d freak out again.
As if we didn’t have enough action, our attention suddenly turns to
Anakin who is heaving all over the foster family’s floor and his own
clothes. GG’s pain is temporarily put on hold as they try to get Anakin
and their small home cleaned up. Out with the mop, Anakin to the kitchen
to wipe down his shirt… They suggest he take a shower and put on their
clothes, but he is white and pale and in bad shape. I propose that Dh
take Anakin and LilDude back to the hotel in a taxi while Jane stays with
Lizzi and I and GG to finish the visit. They head to the door, get as
far as the outside doorstep, and Anakin loses it again. There is much
discussion, concern about how he is going to make it back to the hotel.
At last they are on their way and Jane returns so I can ask the foster mom
some more questions about GG’s life.
I interviewed her for quite awhile and although I didn’t feel like I
learned a lot I didn’t know, it was VERY helpful to watch them interact
with him. They are obviously a very, very loving family and he was very
well cared for. It breaks their hearts to lose him. I did learn one thing
that breaks my heart (as if all the other stuff didn’t already!)
Apparently, GG received our family photo album last October. After getting
the album, he would ask to call me on the phone. He understood that he was
going to our family in the U.S. and was waiting for us to come get him.
When we didn’t come, he told the foster mom, “Maybe they don’t want me.”
Someone needs to do something to make sure this doesn’t happen to other
kids. The foster family, like Jane and the orphanage, thought that we
weren’t coming because we didn’t want to. They thought we were in control.
So, for obviously reasons, I don’t think their opinion of us is terribly
high. Jane tried to explain, but it was apparent that the foster mom
didn’t understand what she was saying. And certainly GG wouldn’t. Breaks
my heart to know he thought we didn’t want him.
Another thing that was good for us was to see how he behaved in his
natural environment. He had several mini-tantrums when we were there
(understandable, of course!), screaming ear-piercing screams and very
unset. But they seemed to think that this is normal. That he is usually a
happy, easy-going guy (as we’ve noticed) but that he also has very SHORT
periods of stubbornness/tantrums. But they all said he gets over this
very quickly which is what I saw there and what I’ve observed.
A couple times when the fmom told him that we were his parents now, I was
close enough that I got half-kicked by him or had something sorta thrown
in my direction. They chastised him (I thought in a very appropriate
way—not mean, but telling him that this wasn’t okay.) To me, it all looked
like a very good environment.
I saw no toys in the home. It was quite simple with a couple of bedrooms
containing a large bed with just a mat (bamboo slats?) on the bed—no
mattresses. The bathroom had one tiny area with a squatty potty and one
tiny area with a shower head—all concrete for easy cleaning. The kitchen
was a small galley with a sink, rice cooker, and a couple burners. I
didn’t notice a kitchen table, but it may have been put away for our
visit. They had a tiny, barred in balcony, which held a shelf of clothes
and was edged by a clothesline where clothes hung to dry. They had a
good-sized t.v. and said that he loved to change channels. We are thankful
that the girlfriend has a computer with an email address and we were able
to send her photos and begin communication already. That’s quite
thrilling.
After a couple of hours, GG had settled down, although both he and the
foster mom had occasional teary eyes. The foster dad left to go somewhere.
I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and I was concerned about
Anakin. Knowing we had to board an airplane later in the day didn’t help.
So I made moves to go. They would have liked to do lunch with us, but I
was spent. I think we all were. When Jane reminded them about Anakin,
they understood. When it looked like we were leaving GG started to cry,
but then we all headed out to the street, the foster mom and GG leading
the way. She held his hand until the cab came. Then Lizzi and I got in
and Jane put him in my lap. The foster mom, daughter-in-law, and
granddaughter, all gathered at the window to say goodbye. The fmom had
tears in her eyes. So did I. GG didn’t. He was okay. He was quiet,
contemplative, looking out the window all the way back to the hotel.
For the remainder of the day, we saw a happy, relaxed, joyful boy. More
than we have at any other time this week. And, for the first time, he
allowed Dh to actively play with him without me and feed him a couple
of bite of apple. This was major progress.
Other adoptive families have told me that if/when they were able to visit
the foster home, this was when they had their first major steps forward.
That, although it’s painful, it’s healthy for the child to see the foster
parents interact with the adoptive parents and hear the fparents say,
“This is your family.”
Yesterday was extremely difficult, but it feels like we’ve reached a
better place with GG.
Late in the afternoon, our family went to a restaurant for lunch. When I
stepped out to take LilDude to the bathroom, Lizzi and Dh said GG
became quite worried, looking for me and calling for me. I don’t begin to
mistake this for attachment. But it’s a step.
Anakin took a long nap in the hotel room. We were also able to give him
one dose of a prescription anti-nausea medication. This isn’t something we
would have done at home, but considering the flight later in the day, we
felt it necessary. He woke up feeling fine and was very bummed that we’d
only allow him to eat white rice at dinner.
We had a good flight to Guangzhou, save for LilDude throwing up on his
shorts. Luckily, I had extras for GG that still managed to fit LilDude. This
trip has taught us that LilDude gets motion sick in planes. Oh, and speaking
of being sick…
On the way to the airport, Jane said how good it was that none of us had
gotten fevers during the past week and how, if we had, it would have
delayed our travel on to Guangzhou. This week we have heard a lot about
how things work during this “special time.” So thank the dear Lord that
she never asked us, we never had to tell, and everyone got over it fairly
quickly. Your prayers are working. She also went on to say that we are her
LAST family for a while. No more families are coming because of the
“special time” for at least a month. So we barely made it through.
L (my friend who is traveling soon), the one thing I have not
regretted taking is medicine. We will likely come close to finishing both
a bottle of children’s Tylenol and motrin. You might consider taking
extra. : ) And we’ve taken tons of vitamins and cold meds. Good luck and
safe travels!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
May 21: Nanning Village & School
What an incredible day! Jane really went out of her way to make this day
memorable!
We began the morning by boarding a van to the countryside. On the way, we
stopped at GG’s “finding place.” This is the spot where he was left as a
2-day-old infant (estimate.) We knew the spot was under an overpass, but I
couldn’t have imagined this in my wildest dreams. Picture a MAJOR
intersection, so major that Jane didn’t want us to cross the street to go
to the spot where we all guessed that the finding spot probably was. An
overpass is directly above this intersection where two lanes of traffic
come from multiple directions. Buses, cars, bikes, motorcycles all
converging in a noisy, polluted mass of humanity. It’s the last place in
the world one could fathom leaving a 2-day-old infant.
Jane said the
converging roads are from the city and country and since she guesses that
his biological parents were from the country, she thinks that they may
have picked this spot because they could drive in from the country and
leave quickly without being seen. It’s illegal to give a child up for
adoption or to abandon a child in China, so people have to do it quickly
and in secret. With all the people around, they probably guessed that he’d
soon be found. However, most people are across the street from the
overpass that he was found beneath and the noise is so loud that I don’t
know how long it might have taken to hear a baby cry. It was very sad to
see the spot and know that our sweet boy was left here.
We continued on our journey to the countryside, passing interesting rock
structures/mountains that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. In the distance
we could see mountains that she said were part of Guilin, a major scenic
beauty area. We passed agricultural fields where small crops grew
intermingled in the fields. Corn, rice, peanuts, mango trees and other
items. She said pineapple is a major crop as well. We approached the edge
of a village where we got out and watched women doing the wash on the edge
of the water.
On one side they had water pouring from wells; a few women
stood in a large concrete area that then held the water. Jane said the
water there is recycled. But across the path, women were washing in a
larger body of water…perhaps a large pond or something? I didn’t see the
source. In contrast with the people in Nanning, theses women were very
friendly, laughing and smiling with us. And very happy to have photos
taken. We met several older women who were pounding wash alongside younger
counterparts. One woman proudly told us she was 80. She was in better
shape than me. Jane explained that everyone continues working into old
age; that they would feel useless if they couldn’t work. She said that
this task is also fun for them—not hard work—and that they enjoy gathering
for social time with their neighbors.
As we walked into the village, she explained that the folks here were
mostly related. That just a few families make up the people in the
village. We visited one home where the parents live with their three adult
children, including a daughter-in-law and her new eight-day-old baby. We
spent some time chatting with the new mom as well as one of the daughters.
We asked how they were able to have three children. For this country
family, two children was okay. (I believe that if a girl comes first, they
are allowed a try for a boy…at least that’s what they said regarding the
new baby…since he’s a boy, they won’t be allowed to have another.) But
since this family had three children, they had to pay a fine. We asked how
much the fine is now. They said it’s 40,000RMB. To figure it out: 6.8RMB =
$1 US, so do the math. I was shocked. That’s a lot even in the U.S. They
had just explained to us how they’d build this beautiful addition onto the
house (it was really like a house in itself with at least three bedrooms,
a kitchen, bathroom, etc.) for $50,000RMB. Then they’d decorated it for an
additional $30,000RMB. So an extra child is fined at about the same rate
as that of a new, fairly substantial house.
After talking with the family, we handed out “Smarties” (little candies)
to villagers. They were thrilled with just one Smartie each. THRILLED!
During this time, I was carrying GG in the frontpack (Ergo) and taught him
to hand people candy. He seems to be very content in the Ergo. At this
point, he is fairly okay with me and very upset if Dh tries to take
him. Upset enough that he’ll hit at Dh and scream.
We returned to the hotel, ate lunch, and took naps. GG napped for the
first time, but we had to awaken him in order to make our next
appointment. He does not like being woken up. Loves his sleep.
At 3:30 Jane put us into cabs and we headed to a local school. This
primary school, grades 1-6, has well over 1,000 students. I’m thinking
they said 1,800? We were not prepared for the reception we got.
Picture a huge courtyard (HUGE) with many basketball courts and wide open
areas to play. On two sides of the courtyard is a six (?) story building
with about six or so classrooms across each floor. Each classroom holds
one teacher and (teachers, hold onto your hats!!!!) about 54 students.
THAT’S RIGHT! 54 students!!!!!!! Per ONE teacher!!!! Including in the
lowest grades. (1st graders begin school at age 7.) Not only that, but
they go to school from about 8am til about 5:30 pm. They go home for lunch
in the middle of the day…maybe for 90 minutes?
We entered just as students were let out for recess. We were MOBBED!!!!!
EVERYONE wanted to come see us and say hi and practice their English.
They
were VERY friendly. They asked our names, where we were from, how old we
are, etc… And I do mean MOBBED. Dh picked LilDude up so he wouldn’t be
trampled. LilDude was very anxious through the whole ordeal. GG just took it
all in. Don’t know if he is used to mobs, but nothing about this seemed to
bother him in the least as long as I gave him the snacks he wanted.
After the mob returned to their classes, the Director gave us a tour,
highlighting the important things about the school. Several other people
tagged along—an English teacher, an assistant director, etc. They were
just as thrilled to see us as the kids. They wanted photos and photos and
photos of us. We were shown photos on a permanent display of visitors from
other countries, so were guessing that we’re now going to be the token
Americans on the board.
Next, we headed to a classroom. We climbed six or so flights of stairs and
visited a sixth grade classroom of 54 students. It was organized chaos.
Rather than having students stay in their seats to ask questions, they
brought small groups to the front of the room and had Lizzi & Anakin
answer only a few questions at once while the rest of the class talked
loudly and stared. LilDude was panicky by now and wanted to stand outside
the door. Couldn’t blame him as we’d been mobbed since the moment we
arrived. Jane pulled me over to another group of students so that I could
answer more questions as the kids answered up front. At one point they
asked how much P.E. the kids get each week. When I said that next year we
have no P.E. in K-5 because there isn’t enough money, Jane refused to tell
them that because she said she didn’t want the kids to think badly of
America. We were asked to pose for a few bazillion photos. This went on
for a long time. Several kids recited poetry. They asked for our email
addresses and about 54 kids wrote them down. Much later, we passed out
lollypops and then one child after another approached Lizzi and/or
Anakin bringing them gifts—often a favorite possession. A favorite pen
that was used in successfully completing examinations, an NBA Kobe Bryant
keychain, Chinese comic books, magazines, textbooks, stuffed animals. It
was endless. Several girls were focusing on Anakin. And a group of
giggling girls approached Lizzi and handed her a gorgeous jade cross.
She thanked them and they just laughed and pointed at a boy, surrounded by
two buddies, who were making a quick getaway. Lizzi never learned which
boy actually gave it to her.
We returned to the courtyard where more kids were at recess. Then it
became a papparatzi free-for-all. We were mightily mobbed by kids wanting
our autographs. I finally took LilDude and GG to a quiet corner while the
other three continued to sign autographs. It was a little out of control.
At some point Lizzi said the English teacher told the students “no
more”…and not in a nice way. Later, a sweet little girl approached me to
ask me something. The lady yelled at her to go away. The little girl
backed off like she’d been bitten. Guess that’s how things work.
Anakin was then sent out to the basketball court to play a five-on-five
game with a ref and Adidas pennies and the whole bit. Then played and
played. We continued to give autographs and pose for photos. This went on
and on and on.
When it was time to leave, I spotted three little girls in beautiful,
pink, traditional costumes. I asked if we could take their photos. Well,
of course we could…in a “5 minute” presentation upstairs. So we climbed to
the sixth floor again and watched a music/dance/poetry/gymnastics
presentation by a class of girls.
It was truly splendid. But I was getting
a little concerned (a lot?) about LilDude who was totally stressed out and
hadn’t had anything to drink through this whole ordeal…now well over 2.5
hours long. We again posed for a myriad of photos with this class. I
believe we left a little after 6pm…we’d arrived a little after 3:30.
It was an incredible experience that none of us will ever forget. They
loved us. With celebrity status. Lizzi said this was the best tour of
the trip, right up there next to the Great Wall.
We won’t forget you, China schoolchildren!
P.S. Our health continues to improve, I think. GG is doing better and
better. It might be TMI (too much information), but you joined the blog
for the “good, bad, and ugly,” so it’s your own fault. ; ) I was quite
pleased to be awakened at 1am so GG could have a bm. This is the first
since we met him and obviously a necessary hurdle to cross. I think it’s
pretty usual to get constipated from stress and we were glad to check one
thing off the list.
Pray for all of us tomorrow. In the morning we meet the foster family.
This is something that we greatly desire for his sake now and in the
future, but it may be very hard on him. Although I can say that the
families I know who’ve done it have said that meeting the foster family
was often a positive turning point. Jane laughed and laughed when she told
us how thrilled they are to meet us. She called yesterday to arrange the
appointment and they were ECSTATIC. Apparently, no other families have
visited and they care so much about GG and want BADLY to see us. They
repeatedly called her asking how they could prepare for us, wanting to
know if his siblings were coming, etc. They called at 10pm and again at
7:30am. They spent today cleaning the house in preparation. They wanted us
tonight and all day tomorrow. That would have been fine with us, but Jane
said no. I think she wants a life. ; )
So prayers are appreciated that this is a good thing for him…and for them.
If you think of any must-know things that I should ask them, send them
quick!
memorable!
We began the morning by boarding a van to the countryside. On the way, we
stopped at GG’s “finding place.” This is the spot where he was left as a
2-day-old infant (estimate.) We knew the spot was under an overpass, but I
couldn’t have imagined this in my wildest dreams. Picture a MAJOR
intersection, so major that Jane didn’t want us to cross the street to go
to the spot where we all guessed that the finding spot probably was. An
overpass is directly above this intersection where two lanes of traffic
come from multiple directions. Buses, cars, bikes, motorcycles all
converging in a noisy, polluted mass of humanity. It’s the last place in
the world one could fathom leaving a 2-day-old infant.
Jane said theconverging roads are from the city and country and since she guesses that
his biological parents were from the country, she thinks that they may
have picked this spot because they could drive in from the country and
leave quickly without being seen. It’s illegal to give a child up for
adoption or to abandon a child in China, so people have to do it quickly
and in secret. With all the people around, they probably guessed that he’d
soon be found. However, most people are across the street from the
overpass that he was found beneath and the noise is so loud that I don’t
know how long it might have taken to hear a baby cry. It was very sad to
see the spot and know that our sweet boy was left here.
We continued on our journey to the countryside, passing interesting rock
structures/mountains that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. In the distance
we could see mountains that she said were part of Guilin, a major scenic
beauty area. We passed agricultural fields where small crops grew
intermingled in the fields. Corn, rice, peanuts, mango trees and other
items. She said pineapple is a major crop as well. We approached the edge
of a village where we got out and watched women doing the wash on the edge
of the water.
On one side they had water pouring from wells; a few womenstood in a large concrete area that then held the water. Jane said the
water there is recycled. But across the path, women were washing in a
larger body of water…perhaps a large pond or something? I didn’t see the
source. In contrast with the people in Nanning, theses women were very
friendly, laughing and smiling with us. And very happy to have photos
taken. We met several older women who were pounding wash alongside younger
counterparts. One woman proudly told us she was 80. She was in better
shape than me. Jane explained that everyone continues working into old
age; that they would feel useless if they couldn’t work. She said that
this task is also fun for them—not hard work—and that they enjoy gathering
for social time with their neighbors.
As we walked into the village, she explained that the folks here were
mostly related. That just a few families make up the people in the
village. We visited one home where the parents live with their three adult
children, including a daughter-in-law and her new eight-day-old baby. We
spent some time chatting with the new mom as well as one of the daughters.
We asked how they were able to have three children. For this country
family, two children was okay. (I believe that if a girl comes first, they
are allowed a try for a boy…at least that’s what they said regarding the
new baby…since he’s a boy, they won’t be allowed to have another.) But
since this family had three children, they had to pay a fine. We asked how
much the fine is now. They said it’s 40,000RMB. To figure it out: 6.8RMB =
$1 US, so do the math. I was shocked. That’s a lot even in the U.S. They
had just explained to us how they’d build this beautiful addition onto the
house (it was really like a house in itself with at least three bedrooms,
a kitchen, bathroom, etc.) for $50,000RMB. Then they’d decorated it for an
additional $30,000RMB. So an extra child is fined at about the same rate
as that of a new, fairly substantial house.
After talking with the family, we handed out “Smarties” (little candies)
to villagers. They were thrilled with just one Smartie each. THRILLED!
During this time, I was carrying GG in the frontpack (Ergo) and taught him
to hand people candy. He seems to be very content in the Ergo. At this
point, he is fairly okay with me and very upset if Dh tries to take
him. Upset enough that he’ll hit at Dh and scream.
We returned to the hotel, ate lunch, and took naps. GG napped for the
first time, but we had to awaken him in order to make our next
appointment. He does not like being woken up. Loves his sleep.
At 3:30 Jane put us into cabs and we headed to a local school. This
primary school, grades 1-6, has well over 1,000 students. I’m thinking
they said 1,800? We were not prepared for the reception we got.
Picture a huge courtyard (HUGE) with many basketball courts and wide open
areas to play. On two sides of the courtyard is a six (?) story building
with about six or so classrooms across each floor. Each classroom holds
one teacher and (teachers, hold onto your hats!!!!) about 54 students.
THAT’S RIGHT! 54 students!!!!!!! Per ONE teacher!!!! Including in the
lowest grades. (1st graders begin school at age 7.) Not only that, but
they go to school from about 8am til about 5:30 pm. They go home for lunch
in the middle of the day…maybe for 90 minutes?
We entered just as students were let out for recess. We were MOBBED!!!!!
EVERYONE wanted to come see us and say hi and practice their English.
Theywere VERY friendly. They asked our names, where we were from, how old we
are, etc… And I do mean MOBBED. Dh picked LilDude up so he wouldn’t be
trampled. LilDude was very anxious through the whole ordeal. GG just took it
all in. Don’t know if he is used to mobs, but nothing about this seemed to
bother him in the least as long as I gave him the snacks he wanted.
After the mob returned to their classes, the Director gave us a tour,
highlighting the important things about the school. Several other people
tagged along—an English teacher, an assistant director, etc. They were
just as thrilled to see us as the kids. They wanted photos and photos and
photos of us. We were shown photos on a permanent display of visitors from
other countries, so were guessing that we’re now going to be the token
Americans on the board.
Next, we headed to a classroom. We climbed six or so flights of stairs and
visited a sixth grade classroom of 54 students. It was organized chaos.
Rather than having students stay in their seats to ask questions, they
brought small groups to the front of the room and had Lizzi & Anakin
answer only a few questions at once while the rest of the class talked
loudly and stared. LilDude was panicky by now and wanted to stand outside
the door. Couldn’t blame him as we’d been mobbed since the moment we
arrived. Jane pulled me over to another group of students so that I could
answer more questions as the kids answered up front. At one point they
asked how much P.E. the kids get each week. When I said that next year we
have no P.E. in K-5 because there isn’t enough money, Jane refused to tell
them that because she said she didn’t want the kids to think badly of
America. We were asked to pose for a few bazillion photos. This went on
for a long time. Several kids recited poetry. They asked for our email
addresses and about 54 kids wrote them down. Much later, we passed out
lollypops and then one child after another approached Lizzi and/or
Anakin bringing them gifts—often a favorite possession. A favorite pen
that was used in successfully completing examinations, an NBA Kobe Bryant
keychain, Chinese comic books, magazines, textbooks, stuffed animals. It
was endless. Several girls were focusing on Anakin. And a group of
giggling girls approached Lizzi and handed her a gorgeous jade cross.
She thanked them and they just laughed and pointed at a boy, surrounded by
two buddies, who were making a quick getaway. Lizzi never learned which
boy actually gave it to her.
We returned to the courtyard where more kids were at recess. Then it
became a papparatzi free-for-all. We were mightily mobbed by kids wanting
our autographs. I finally took LilDude and GG to a quiet corner while the
other three continued to sign autographs. It was a little out of control.
At some point Lizzi said the English teacher told the students “no
more”…and not in a nice way. Later, a sweet little girl approached me to
ask me something. The lady yelled at her to go away. The little girl
backed off like she’d been bitten. Guess that’s how things work.
Anakin was then sent out to the basketball court to play a five-on-five
game with a ref and Adidas pennies and the whole bit. Then played and
played. We continued to give autographs and pose for photos. This went on
and on and on.
When it was time to leave, I spotted three little girls in beautiful,
pink, traditional costumes. I asked if we could take their photos. Well,
of course we could…in a “5 minute” presentation upstairs. So we climbed to
the sixth floor again and watched a music/dance/poetry/gymnastics
presentation by a class of girls.
It was truly splendid. But I was gettinga little concerned (a lot?) about LilDude who was totally stressed out and
hadn’t had anything to drink through this whole ordeal…now well over 2.5
hours long. We again posed for a myriad of photos with this class. I
believe we left a little after 6pm…we’d arrived a little after 3:30.
It was an incredible experience that none of us will ever forget. They
loved us. With celebrity status. Lizzi said this was the best tour of
the trip, right up there next to the Great Wall.
We won’t forget you, China schoolchildren!
P.S. Our health continues to improve, I think. GG is doing better and
better. It might be TMI (too much information), but you joined the blog
for the “good, bad, and ugly,” so it’s your own fault. ; ) I was quite
pleased to be awakened at 1am so GG could have a bm. This is the first
since we met him and obviously a necessary hurdle to cross. I think it’s
pretty usual to get constipated from stress and we were glad to check one
thing off the list.
Pray for all of us tomorrow. In the morning we meet the foster family.
This is something that we greatly desire for his sake now and in the
future, but it may be very hard on him. Although I can say that the
families I know who’ve done it have said that meeting the foster family
was often a positive turning point. Jane laughed and laughed when she told
us how thrilled they are to meet us. She called yesterday to arrange the
appointment and they were ECSTATIC. Apparently, no other families have
visited and they care so much about GG and want BADLY to see us. They
repeatedly called her asking how they could prepare for us, wanting to
know if his siblings were coming, etc. They called at 10pm and again at
7:30am. They spent today cleaning the house in preparation. They wanted us
tonight and all day tomorrow. That would have been fine with us, but Jane
said no. I think she wants a life. ; )
So prayers are appreciated that this is a good thing for him…and for them.
If you think of any must-know things that I should ask them, send them
quick!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
May 20:Nanning, Day 3
First, thank you all for your continued prayers and support! LilDude woke up
with a slight fever and a cough, but throughout the day he continued to
get better and better. I think his fever is gone at the moment. Anakin’s
cough is definitely better too.
We had another good night of sleep. GG sleeps spread-eagle, occasionally
sucking his thumb. So cute. He is sleeping through the night without any
issues. He awakens the saddest that we see him during the day. Although he
is definitely sad, it may also be partly because he’s sleepy and not
getting adequate rest. He isn’t napping although his paperwork says he
naps 3 hours a day. We always have to wake him up in the morning, so I
think he’s tired. At breakfast he again refused to eat. Also refused to
look at any of us. Then, suddenly, he reached for my fork and stabbed
himself a hunk of noodles off my plate. He fed himself several bites and
took a few gulps of hot milk. Then he was done. Back to looking away from
all of us as we ate. If you’d offer him something or try to look at him,
he’d turn his head away from you just like when you use the wrong side of
a magnet to push something away. If you’re anywhere close to him and try
to get eye contact, he avoids your eyes like they’re poisonous. We have a
little work to do.
As a side note, I cannot fathom how people do this kind of thing with a
first child. This is hard, hard work. We really struggled with LilDude’s
trauma, but he didn’t outright reject us from the first moment. We can
handle GG’s reaction because we understand it and have had enough
experience to know how to help him, but even so, this is painfully
hard—mostly for him, but also for us. I can’t imagine dreaming of a first
child only to have that child sob and scream that he wants his mom…and
that mom isn’t you. This is not what most people dream of when they
imagine becoming parents for the first time. I think of you, Kathie (our
SW), and try to imagine how you communicate to parents that this may be
their reality. Today Jane was telling me about one of the hardest
situations she’s ever dealt with—in a boy just slightly younger than GG
who was very spoiled and attached to his foster mom and was going home to
young, first time parents. The child refused to eat for about four or five
days, if I recall. She talked about how terribly hard the week was on the
parents, particularly the mom. I just can’t imagine.
But back to the day…
We met Jane at 9:30 for a trip to Green Mountain Park. On the way to the
park I was able to ask her a few more questions. One that some of you have
asked me is whether his foster family could have adopted him if they’d
wanted to. The answer was emphatically no. And she said they never asked.
The foster mom, who has fostered 3 other kids prior to GG, is now about
50, her husband about 60. When I asked if they would foster more kids,
Jane said that the foster mom was getting too old to foster. Yikes. I
asked if perhaps the son/daughter-in-law wanted to adopt him. They have a
daughter only a year or so older than GG and the two are playmates. She
again said no, that they wouldn’t be allowed to do a domestic adoption of
any kind even if they wanted to. Why? Because they don’t have enough
money, resources, education, etc, so they would not be considered for any
kind of adoption. Only families with more resources would be considered.
Sad.
Jane said the fmom is very caring and patient, but she is uneducated and
“not very imaginative” which, as I understood it, meant that she didn’t do
things like singing or reading with him. She mostly went about her daily
work and cared for him in a loving way but didn’t know to do more with
him. Jane did say, however, that the fmom took GG outside to play EVERYDAY
because he loved being outside so much. It seems that he is used to eating
a lot of sweet goodies, which I guess children, especially boys, are often
spoiled with. We were given special drinks and crackers for him. One of
the drinks even came with explicit instructions about how much he was to
get, when. I talked to Doris (thanks!), my friend who lived in China. She
said that the drink is sugar. And we were told that he must have one
bottle of this a day, drinking three times spread out across the day.
After talking to Doris, I took that off my list of “mandatory food items.”
At the park we walked around, viewing “green”—trees, bushes, flowers,
etc.—all things that have been fairly absent on our trip. Last night it
dumped rain, bringing to the surface the most humongous worms we’ve ever
seen. We also observed a few teeny tiny frogs. When we tell Jane that we
have frogs at home, she is fascinated, not fully understanding how we
could have things like frogs, possums, skunks, and other wild things
around our property. We photographed the kids with statues of the animals
that represented the year they were born. GG abandoned his dog in
favor of riding with LilDude on his horse statute.
After we got back to the hotel we attempted to eat at the restaurant next
door. They were closed. So we hopped into a cab (7 yuan = $1) and got a
ride to the mall/Wal-Mart. We found a Japanese restaurant and had a
delicious lunch. We each got our own small bowl to eat from; GG ate the
best he’s eaten all week. He made an attempt to use chopsticks (not bad!),
but settled on an Asian spoon. He shoveled in quite a bit of rice. I was
told that he must not have anything spicy, but I’m convinced that he’s had
a lot of it at home as I offered him a chunk of spicy cucumber and he
wanted more and more and more. He loved it. He was pretty happy for a
while after that.
We looked around the mall. Lizzi and I were surprised when clerks kept
assuming we spoke Chinese. When we’d tell them we only spoke English,
they’d get embarrassed and talk to one another about it. We got lots of
smiles from clerks. But continued sour stares from the majority of people
on the street. Very different from Beijing.
We went to Wal-mart (hate that, but what’s a person to do? “When in China
do as the Chinese” and when at home go back to boycotting?? At least I’m
buying local as everything is made in China!), and bought him and LilDude
matching Spiderman sandals that light up when they walk. GG in particular
was thrilled with that idea. We also bought him tennis shoes as he has
none. And new shorts outfits for both little boys. We choose several
Chinese children’s Cds for just over $1 each and a couple little picture
books with Chinese and English words. The boys enjoyed riding together in
the shopping cart although poor LilDude was fairly squished as the shopping
carts are little.
We all did great until GG’s lack of sleep/naps suddenly caught up with
him. He was suddenly a crying, screaming, writhing mass of boy. As quickly
as we could, we headed to the check-out and caught a cab home.
It seemed like he was in very big need of a good cry. He’s been holding
things in ever since the first night. And he’s been avoiding Mommy and
Daddy as much as possible, focusing on playing with LilDude. The play is
good, but it also means that he hasn’t spent any time letting himself
relax and grieve in the safe arms of an adult. So when we got home I made
him a bottle and sat down for some quiet time. I held him in my arms and
turned the bottle so he was facing me. Man-o-man, did that ever set him
off. He DID NOT want to look at me. I held him as he screamed in Chinese.
I think he was screaming that he wanted his foster mom. He had a good long
cry/scream session. By the end he was relaxed and would look into my eyes
and “talk” to me about his sads. He talked and talked and wept huge tears.
Lots and lots of tears. I just held him and whispered in his ear and
stroked his face. After he relaxed, he finished most of the bottle, had a
bath and got a massage with lotion, and went to bed. Hopefully he can get
a little more sleep tonight. I’ve been grateful for the two rooms so one
can be a sleeping place while the other is an awake room.
I’ve been typing this in the dark in his room. He did just wake up quietly
crying, which is new. He allowed me to hold him and pat his back and put
him in bed.
Tomorrow we visit a village outside Nanning, including one family’s home.
Jane is also trying to arrange for us to see a school but she said since
this is “special time” (her phrase for the Swine flu issue) that we may or
may not be able to. On the way to the countryside we’re also supposed to
stop to see GG’s “finding place,” the spot where he was left as an infant.
Continued prayers for good health and GG’s adjustment are appreciated!
Love you all!
with a slight fever and a cough, but throughout the day he continued to
get better and better. I think his fever is gone at the moment. Anakin’s
cough is definitely better too.
We had another good night of sleep. GG sleeps spread-eagle, occasionally
sucking his thumb. So cute. He is sleeping through the night without any
issues. He awakens the saddest that we see him during the day. Although he
is definitely sad, it may also be partly because he’s sleepy and not
getting adequate rest. He isn’t napping although his paperwork says he
naps 3 hours a day. We always have to wake him up in the morning, so I
think he’s tired. At breakfast he again refused to eat. Also refused to
look at any of us. Then, suddenly, he reached for my fork and stabbed
himself a hunk of noodles off my plate. He fed himself several bites and
took a few gulps of hot milk. Then he was done. Back to looking away from
all of us as we ate. If you’d offer him something or try to look at him,
he’d turn his head away from you just like when you use the wrong side of
a magnet to push something away. If you’re anywhere close to him and try
to get eye contact, he avoids your eyes like they’re poisonous. We have a
little work to do.
As a side note, I cannot fathom how people do this kind of thing with a
first child. This is hard, hard work. We really struggled with LilDude’s
trauma, but he didn’t outright reject us from the first moment. We can
handle GG’s reaction because we understand it and have had enough
experience to know how to help him, but even so, this is painfully
hard—mostly for him, but also for us. I can’t imagine dreaming of a first
child only to have that child sob and scream that he wants his mom…and
that mom isn’t you. This is not what most people dream of when they
imagine becoming parents for the first time. I think of you, Kathie (our
SW), and try to imagine how you communicate to parents that this may be
their reality. Today Jane was telling me about one of the hardest
situations she’s ever dealt with—in a boy just slightly younger than GG
who was very spoiled and attached to his foster mom and was going home to
young, first time parents. The child refused to eat for about four or five
days, if I recall. She talked about how terribly hard the week was on the
parents, particularly the mom. I just can’t imagine.
But back to the day…
We met Jane at 9:30 for a trip to Green Mountain Park. On the way to the
park I was able to ask her a few more questions. One that some of you have
asked me is whether his foster family could have adopted him if they’d
wanted to. The answer was emphatically no. And she said they never asked.
The foster mom, who has fostered 3 other kids prior to GG, is now about
50, her husband about 60. When I asked if they would foster more kids,
Jane said that the foster mom was getting too old to foster. Yikes. I
asked if perhaps the son/daughter-in-law wanted to adopt him. They have a
daughter only a year or so older than GG and the two are playmates. She
again said no, that they wouldn’t be allowed to do a domestic adoption of
any kind even if they wanted to. Why? Because they don’t have enough
money, resources, education, etc, so they would not be considered for any
kind of adoption. Only families with more resources would be considered.
Sad.
Jane said the fmom is very caring and patient, but she is uneducated and
“not very imaginative” which, as I understood it, meant that she didn’t do
things like singing or reading with him. She mostly went about her daily
work and cared for him in a loving way but didn’t know to do more with
him. Jane did say, however, that the fmom took GG outside to play EVERYDAY
because he loved being outside so much. It seems that he is used to eating
a lot of sweet goodies, which I guess children, especially boys, are often
spoiled with. We were given special drinks and crackers for him. One of
the drinks even came with explicit instructions about how much he was to
get, when. I talked to Doris (thanks!), my friend who lived in China. She
said that the drink is sugar. And we were told that he must have one
bottle of this a day, drinking three times spread out across the day.
After talking to Doris, I took that off my list of “mandatory food items.”
At the park we walked around, viewing “green”—trees, bushes, flowers,
etc.—all things that have been fairly absent on our trip. Last night it
dumped rain, bringing to the surface the most humongous worms we’ve ever
seen. We also observed a few teeny tiny frogs. When we tell Jane that we
have frogs at home, she is fascinated, not fully understanding how we
could have things like frogs, possums, skunks, and other wild things
around our property. We photographed the kids with statues of the animals
that represented the year they were born. GG abandoned his dog in
favor of riding with LilDude on his horse statute.
After we got back to the hotel we attempted to eat at the restaurant next
door. They were closed. So we hopped into a cab (7 yuan = $1) and got a
ride to the mall/Wal-Mart. We found a Japanese restaurant and had a
delicious lunch. We each got our own small bowl to eat from; GG ate the
best he’s eaten all week. He made an attempt to use chopsticks (not bad!),
but settled on an Asian spoon. He shoveled in quite a bit of rice. I was
told that he must not have anything spicy, but I’m convinced that he’s had
a lot of it at home as I offered him a chunk of spicy cucumber and he
wanted more and more and more. He loved it. He was pretty happy for a
while after that.
We looked around the mall. Lizzi and I were surprised when clerks kept
assuming we spoke Chinese. When we’d tell them we only spoke English,
they’d get embarrassed and talk to one another about it. We got lots of
smiles from clerks. But continued sour stares from the majority of people
on the street. Very different from Beijing.
We went to Wal-mart (hate that, but what’s a person to do? “When in China
do as the Chinese” and when at home go back to boycotting?? At least I’m
buying local as everything is made in China!), and bought him and LilDude
matching Spiderman sandals that light up when they walk. GG in particular
was thrilled with that idea. We also bought him tennis shoes as he has
none. And new shorts outfits for both little boys. We choose several
Chinese children’s Cds for just over $1 each and a couple little picture
books with Chinese and English words. The boys enjoyed riding together in
the shopping cart although poor LilDude was fairly squished as the shopping
carts are little.
We all did great until GG’s lack of sleep/naps suddenly caught up with
him. He was suddenly a crying, screaming, writhing mass of boy. As quickly
as we could, we headed to the check-out and caught a cab home.
It seemed like he was in very big need of a good cry. He’s been holding
things in ever since the first night. And he’s been avoiding Mommy and
Daddy as much as possible, focusing on playing with LilDude. The play is
good, but it also means that he hasn’t spent any time letting himself
relax and grieve in the safe arms of an adult. So when we got home I made
him a bottle and sat down for some quiet time. I held him in my arms and
turned the bottle so he was facing me. Man-o-man, did that ever set him
off. He DID NOT want to look at me. I held him as he screamed in Chinese.
I think he was screaming that he wanted his foster mom. He had a good long
cry/scream session. By the end he was relaxed and would look into my eyes
and “talk” to me about his sads. He talked and talked and wept huge tears.
Lots and lots of tears. I just held him and whispered in his ear and
stroked his face. After he relaxed, he finished most of the bottle, had a
bath and got a massage with lotion, and went to bed. Hopefully he can get
a little more sleep tonight. I’ve been grateful for the two rooms so one
can be a sleeping place while the other is an awake room.
I’ve been typing this in the dark in his room. He did just wake up quietly
crying, which is new. He allowed me to hold him and pat his back and put
him in bed.
Tomorrow we visit a village outside Nanning, including one family’s home.
Jane is also trying to arrange for us to see a school but she said since
this is “special time” (her phrase for the Swine flu issue) that we may or
may not be able to. On the way to the countryside we’re also supposed to
stop to see GG’s “finding place,” the spot where he was left as an infant.
Continued prayers for good health and GG’s adjustment are appreciated!
Love you all!
May 19: Nanning, Day 2
Our night was pretty much perfect. He slept with me and sat up a couple of times,
but I just lay him back down next to his HUGE Dora the Explorer doll (that
he came with) and he went right back to sleep. Although I know this wasn't
on purpose, he did have one hand on my shoulder for much of the night
which tells me he was at least fairly relaxed. We're now getting ready in
the dark around him and he hasn't budged.
He ate 2 crackers last night that his fmom sent, but that's it. Please
pray that he'll be able to eat/drink with us soon.
Longer post later. We have an appointment with the officials this morning.
Pray that my coughing family doesn't feel the need to cough. Jane
emphasized yesterday how illness could halt the Visa process.
May 19: Nanning, Continued
This morning we tried the Majestic breakfast buffet for the first time.
It’s fine. Not something I’d rave about, but we all found plenty to eat.
Although Anakin says that it’s hard to find Chinese food to eat here
because it’s all so strange that he’s not sure what he’s eating. I’ve
liked the food here okay, but what we’ve had so far has been fairly oily.
By far my favorite was the first restaurant Happy took us to in Beijing.
(Probably more than you wanted to know, but Teddi will care. And,
Teddi, where is the restaurant area that you raved about? Is it the “Baby”
place next door to the left? And how far is the “Nanning Department
Store?” If we ever get out of our hotel rooms, we’d like to visit.)
Back to the comment, “We all found plenty to eat.” Well, GG, not so much.
He did take a cup of warm milk from me. And one bite of congee. But that
was it. I offered him lots of other stuff, even pointing out various
things in the buffet. He adamantly shook his head. And if you don’t
already know this, YOU CANNOT FORCE A 3-year-old TO EAT OR DRINK IF HE
DOESN’T WANT TO. Bummer. But at least he drank something…which was an
improvement over yesterday. Jane suggested we put a variety of things out
for him to graze on. So we put out his crackers. He ate about 1/2 of two.
(Those are the sugar coated ones that I think you mentioned, Sue. They
came with him.) We also tried bits of dried fruit. He ate one piece of
dried kiwi. He’s also willing to drink some kind of drink that the fmom
sent with him. She sent crackers, several drinks, and some sort of gummy
thing in a little plastic container that Jane says is basically candy that
is choky that the fmom’s aren’t supposed to give the kids. He’s eaten a
little of this stuff, but not even much of that. Oh, and the fmom sent
apples. He won’t touch them. He did eat one slice of orange, stuffing it
all in his mouth. I don’t think he’s used to eating more than baby bites
of anything. So anyway, we’re trying everything and I basically think
he’ll eat when he wants to eat. And probably not before. He’s more or
less hunger striking.
After breakfast, Dh and I took GG back to the orphanage hotel
office. The other 3 kids stayed at the hotel room as we knew the meetings
would be short and both LilDude & Anakin were coughing so much that we
were afraid we’d get in trouble. Oh, and we also discovered that LilDude had
a fever and hoped a morning of rest would do him good.
We had two short meetings…one at the orphanage hotel office and one at a
notary, both where we had to verify a few short questions. “Do you want
this boy?” “Will you promise not to abuse him?” Etc. No biggie. We gave
the orphanage the dresses you made, Mom. They gave us a gift. A purse-like
item. A book/brochure on the orphanage. And PHOTOS OF GG FROM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE. Including BABY PHOTOS!
After the meetings, we hung out in the hotel room with coughing kids. When
LilDude’s fever started to rise, we made every effort we could to keep him
and GG apart, but under the circumstances, that’s near to impossible. Yes,
we did bring cough meds. And Ibuprofen/Tylenol. And a bazillion cold meds
and vitamins (C, D, echn/golden seal, zinc/coldease). We’re loading
everyone up. Not sure if it’s doing any good, but we’re trying. I stopped
LilDude from drinking anything cold, Doris. Any other ideas?? I need a
magic pill.
By the afternoon, LilDude’s fever had gone up quite a bit and he continued
to have one even on Ibuprofen. But he doesn’t feel sick. That’s his style.
And he’s even stopped coughing. He sounds a little congested, but nothing
hurts.
Anyway, another “rule” is that GG naps from 1-3 pm. Yeah, right. I lay
down with him. He tried to get up. I pulled him back. He complained. We
compromised at him staying in bed with me…but with him sitting up. He sat
against the wall, holding Dora, and looking at Liz/Anakin who were playing
Nintendo/doing computer. I finally caught him falling over, asleep, and
lay him down. Then Liz/Anakin woke him up by whispered arguing over who was to
use which electronic gizmo next. So he had about a ten minute nap. But a
long rest. LilDude napped too. So maybe no nap but an early bedtime for
everyone??
After naps, Dh and I took GG on a walk outside. We went to the park
(behind hotel for you Nanning folks) and watched people feed these
humongous fish. They’d throw fish food and fish would rise to the surface,
smacking one another in an attempt to get their share. GG climbed right up
the side of the rail to watch. Probably would have jumped in if I hadn’t
stopped him. This kid is so much like some other boys I know. Right
down to taking the 4 building block pieces he brought with him and putting
them together into the shape of a gun and making pewww, pewww, noises. He
LOVES throwing balls. Likes little cars.
This afternoon, he spent more than an hour with color crayons, using EVERY
PIECE OF PAPER IN THE PAD I brought. Lizzi thought he’d probably not
done this very often. He makes tiny little marks. His fine hand
coordination is remarkable. He loves to fold the papers. He watched
Lizzi make a paper hat; then he unfolded the paper and redid what she’d
done. (Just now he handed Lizzi a crayon and beckoned her over for more
coloring.) He copies everything from the faces LilDude makes to the words
people say. Lizzi was showing him photos in the book I made and having
him repeat who each person was. Before long, he was telling us on his own.
When we Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa he could imitate us in saying
NiHao to “Grandma” and “Grandpa.” He also Skyped with BigSis. He can
easily imitate anything we say in English. It might be Mommy prejudice but
I think he seems very, very smart.
After the park, LilDude (yes, with a fever) and GG played and played and
played ball with Dh. Running and screaming, screaming, screaming. GG
LOVES playing with LilDude. They’d attack Dh with balls, then run into
the room’s foyer and “hide.” This kid giggles and giggles and giggles.
Very good natured. And super eager to learn. He has shown an obsession
with our room card key, which, unfortunately, is used to turn on lights.
So he can’t have it. He thought about crying over it a few times, but he’s
been pretty easily distracted.
Because of LilDude’s fever, we felt forced to cancel our scheduled trip to
Wal-Mart. We looked forward to going (shopping, not to Wal-mart), but we
didn’t feel like we could take LilDude out and we didn’t really want to
split up the group this soon. Tomorrow we are supposed to visit the Green
Mountains, a local country/beauty site, about 45 minutes away. Unless
LilDude is a lot worse, I think we’ll probably drug him up and go. I hate to
waste our entire time in Nanning in a hotel room. I really don’t think
LilDude is contagious. He seems to do this when he has a cold, just his
body’s way of reacting. I can hope he’s not contagious since GG getting
this may mean a problem getting his Visa on time. Prayer is appreciated.
GG does have a slightly runny nose, but it’s been there since we got him.
It’d be nice if he’d eat to keep his energy up. I did FINALLY get him to
take a 4 oz bottle this afternoon. I just held him and wouldn’t let him up
til he drank it. He actually got compliant rather fast and without a lot
of complaint.
A comment on Nanning… We’ve seen a few friendly folk, but a lot of people
stare at us on the street without smiling. I don’t know if they mean to be
unfriendly or if they are so perplexed by us that they can’t smile back.
It does feel a little odd to be out walking around. Definitely different
than Beijing. I wish we had more time to walk around though. I hate being
cooped up in a hotel room when an adventure is outside the window.It feels
like we’re wasting our time here. But I know this is an adoption trip, not
a vacation. We may just have to return!
Jane said that she’d try to schedule an appointment for us to visit a
local school. We thought that would be especially neat for Liz/Anakin. We visit
Green Mts tomorrow and a local village on Thursday.
That’s it from Nanning. Continued prayers for good health and good
transitions are appreciated.
Update at bedtime:
GG ATE! I fed him a cup full of fake congee…otherwise known as instant
grits. I read on an adoptive family forum that instant grits are close to
congee so I picked up some in Atlanta and brought it to China. He ate a
whole packet. Praise the Lord! He also ate apple pieces and drank water.
Hallelujah.
And praise #2! LilDude seems much better tonight with little to no temp. His
med should be wearing off, so I’m hoping this means he’s really better. If
so, that means that the way to get LilDude well is to let him jump from bed
to bed with GG and get really hot and sweaty while playing for an hour or
so. All while screaming and laughing.
but I just lay him back down next to his HUGE Dora the Explorer doll (that
he came with) and he went right back to sleep. Although I know this wasn't
on purpose, he did have one hand on my shoulder for much of the night
which tells me he was at least fairly relaxed. We're now getting ready in
the dark around him and he hasn't budged.
He ate 2 crackers last night that his fmom sent, but that's it. Please
pray that he'll be able to eat/drink with us soon.
Longer post later. We have an appointment with the officials this morning.
Pray that my coughing family doesn't feel the need to cough. Jane
emphasized yesterday how illness could halt the Visa process.
May 19: Nanning, Continued
This morning we tried the Majestic breakfast buffet for the first time.
It’s fine. Not something I’d rave about, but we all found plenty to eat.
Although Anakin says that it’s hard to find Chinese food to eat here
because it’s all so strange that he’s not sure what he’s eating. I’ve
liked the food here okay, but what we’ve had so far has been fairly oily.
By far my favorite was the first restaurant Happy took us to in Beijing.
(Probably more than you wanted to know, but Teddi will care. And,
Teddi, where is the restaurant area that you raved about? Is it the “Baby”
place next door to the left? And how far is the “Nanning Department
Store?” If we ever get out of our hotel rooms, we’d like to visit.)
Back to the comment, “We all found plenty to eat.” Well, GG, not so much.
He did take a cup of warm milk from me. And one bite of congee. But that
was it. I offered him lots of other stuff, even pointing out various
things in the buffet. He adamantly shook his head. And if you don’t
already know this, YOU CANNOT FORCE A 3-year-old TO EAT OR DRINK IF HE
DOESN’T WANT TO. Bummer. But at least he drank something…which was an
improvement over yesterday. Jane suggested we put a variety of things out
for him to graze on. So we put out his crackers. He ate about 1/2 of two.
(Those are the sugar coated ones that I think you mentioned, Sue. They
came with him.) We also tried bits of dried fruit. He ate one piece of
dried kiwi. He’s also willing to drink some kind of drink that the fmom
sent with him. She sent crackers, several drinks, and some sort of gummy
thing in a little plastic container that Jane says is basically candy that
is choky that the fmom’s aren’t supposed to give the kids. He’s eaten a
little of this stuff, but not even much of that. Oh, and the fmom sent
apples. He won’t touch them. He did eat one slice of orange, stuffing it
all in his mouth. I don’t think he’s used to eating more than baby bites
of anything. So anyway, we’re trying everything and I basically think
he’ll eat when he wants to eat. And probably not before. He’s more or
less hunger striking.
After breakfast, Dh and I took GG back to the orphanage hotel
office. The other 3 kids stayed at the hotel room as we knew the meetings
would be short and both LilDude & Anakin were coughing so much that we
were afraid we’d get in trouble. Oh, and we also discovered that LilDude had
a fever and hoped a morning of rest would do him good.
We had two short meetings…one at the orphanage hotel office and one at a
notary, both where we had to verify a few short questions. “Do you want
this boy?” “Will you promise not to abuse him?” Etc. No biggie. We gave
the orphanage the dresses you made, Mom. They gave us a gift. A purse-like
item. A book/brochure on the orphanage. And PHOTOS OF GG FROM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE. Including BABY PHOTOS!
After the meetings, we hung out in the hotel room with coughing kids. When
LilDude’s fever started to rise, we made every effort we could to keep him
and GG apart, but under the circumstances, that’s near to impossible. Yes,
we did bring cough meds. And Ibuprofen/Tylenol. And a bazillion cold meds
and vitamins (C, D, echn/golden seal, zinc/coldease). We’re loading
everyone up. Not sure if it’s doing any good, but we’re trying. I stopped
LilDude from drinking anything cold, Doris. Any other ideas?? I need a
magic pill.
By the afternoon, LilDude’s fever had gone up quite a bit and he continued
to have one even on Ibuprofen. But he doesn’t feel sick. That’s his style.
And he’s even stopped coughing. He sounds a little congested, but nothing
hurts.
Anyway, another “rule” is that GG naps from 1-3 pm. Yeah, right. I lay
down with him. He tried to get up. I pulled him back. He complained. We
compromised at him staying in bed with me…but with him sitting up. He sat
against the wall, holding Dora, and looking at Liz/Anakin who were playing
Nintendo/doing computer. I finally caught him falling over, asleep, and
lay him down. Then Liz/Anakin woke him up by whispered arguing over who was to
use which electronic gizmo next. So he had about a ten minute nap. But a
long rest. LilDude napped too. So maybe no nap but an early bedtime for
everyone??
After naps, Dh and I took GG on a walk outside. We went to the park
(behind hotel for you Nanning folks) and watched people feed these
humongous fish. They’d throw fish food and fish would rise to the surface,
smacking one another in an attempt to get their share. GG climbed right up
the side of the rail to watch. Probably would have jumped in if I hadn’t
stopped him. This kid is so much like some other boys I know. Right
down to taking the 4 building block pieces he brought with him and putting
them together into the shape of a gun and making pewww, pewww, noises. He
LOVES throwing balls. Likes little cars.
This afternoon, he spent more than an hour with color crayons, using EVERY
PIECE OF PAPER IN THE PAD I brought. Lizzi thought he’d probably not
done this very often. He makes tiny little marks. His fine hand
coordination is remarkable. He loves to fold the papers. He watched
Lizzi make a paper hat; then he unfolded the paper and redid what she’d
done. (Just now he handed Lizzi a crayon and beckoned her over for more
coloring.) He copies everything from the faces LilDude makes to the words
people say. Lizzi was showing him photos in the book I made and having
him repeat who each person was. Before long, he was telling us on his own.
When we Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa he could imitate us in saying
NiHao to “Grandma” and “Grandpa.” He also Skyped with BigSis. He can
easily imitate anything we say in English. It might be Mommy prejudice but
I think he seems very, very smart.
After the park, LilDude (yes, with a fever) and GG played and played and
played ball with Dh. Running and screaming, screaming, screaming. GG
LOVES playing with LilDude. They’d attack Dh with balls, then run into
the room’s foyer and “hide.” This kid giggles and giggles and giggles.
Very good natured. And super eager to learn. He has shown an obsession
with our room card key, which, unfortunately, is used to turn on lights.
So he can’t have it. He thought about crying over it a few times, but he’s
been pretty easily distracted.
Because of LilDude’s fever, we felt forced to cancel our scheduled trip to
Wal-Mart. We looked forward to going (shopping, not to Wal-mart), but we
didn’t feel like we could take LilDude out and we didn’t really want to
split up the group this soon. Tomorrow we are supposed to visit the Green
Mountains, a local country/beauty site, about 45 minutes away. Unless
LilDude is a lot worse, I think we’ll probably drug him up and go. I hate to
waste our entire time in Nanning in a hotel room. I really don’t think
LilDude is contagious. He seems to do this when he has a cold, just his
body’s way of reacting. I can hope he’s not contagious since GG getting
this may mean a problem getting his Visa on time. Prayer is appreciated.
GG does have a slightly runny nose, but it’s been there since we got him.
It’d be nice if he’d eat to keep his energy up. I did FINALLY get him to
take a 4 oz bottle this afternoon. I just held him and wouldn’t let him up
til he drank it. He actually got compliant rather fast and without a lot
of complaint.
A comment on Nanning… We’ve seen a few friendly folk, but a lot of people
stare at us on the street without smiling. I don’t know if they mean to be
unfriendly or if they are so perplexed by us that they can’t smile back.
It does feel a little odd to be out walking around. Definitely different
than Beijing. I wish we had more time to walk around though. I hate being
cooped up in a hotel room when an adventure is outside the window.It feels
like we’re wasting our time here. But I know this is an adoption trip, not
a vacation. We may just have to return!
Jane said that she’d try to schedule an appointment for us to visit a
local school. We thought that would be especially neat for Liz/Anakin. We visit
Green Mts tomorrow and a local village on Thursday.
That’s it from Nanning. Continued prayers for good health and good
transitions are appreciated.
Update at bedtime:
GG ATE! I fed him a cup full of fake congee…otherwise known as instant
grits. I read on an adoptive family forum that instant grits are close to
congee so I picked up some in Atlanta and brought it to China. He ate a
whole packet. Praise the Lord! He also ate apple pieces and drank water.
Hallelujah.
And praise #2! LilDude seems much better tonight with little to no temp. His
med should be wearing off, so I’m hoping this means he’s really better. If
so, that means that the way to get LilDude well is to let him jump from bed
to bed with GG and get really hot and sweaty while playing for an hour or
so. All while screaming and laughing.
Friday, May 29, 2009
May 18: Nanning and GG!
We made it safely to Nanning. We meet our sweetie in an hour. Some of you
are going to REALLY, REALLY LAUGH, but the Holt rep, Jane, says that he is
VERY spoiled and will have a sit-on-the-floor, kicking & crying temper
tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. Apparently, the foster mom has
conditioned this and gives in to his every desire. But he's always happy
and is very easy. LOL. Jane told us that for this week, she wants us to
ALSO GIVE IN TO HIS EVERY DESIRE. Should be interesting... We already
stashed all the medications and candy. Not really wanting to give him all
that he wants of those items.
When I asked about meeting the foster family she said that we could only
see them if the bonding looked good by late in the week. By the end of the
van ride, I convinced her that it's important no matter what...that he
needs to hear the foster mom tell him that we are his family now. Even if
it's hard in the moment. She acted like it's okay now and that she'd put a
short Friday a.m. meeting with the ffamily on her schedule.
Hopefully I'll be able to write more tonight. Wish us luck!
Oh, and btw, I think this is sad...
Jane asked us why it took us so long to come for him...that the orphanage
has been asking her on a regular basis for the past year "why isn't his
family coming?" They thought it was somehow in our control and our fault
that we weren't coming for him. I tried to explain Hague, but I don't know
that she really understood. It would be nice if agencies could communicate that arrivals from everyone, but especially arrivals from Hague families, are totally beyond our control. We tried to tell her we would have come a year ago had we been
allowed to.
Later...
Wow, do I have a lot to catch up on.
We left EARLY for the Beijing airport. Gorgeous terminal. Happy whisked us
through check-in. We boarded an Air China flight to Nanning, about a 3.5
hr. trip. I thought we were the only non-Chinese on the plane, but Dh
informs me that there was one Anglo guy in the front. We took up 5 of 6
seats in our row. Lizzi & Anakin were on the one side with a Chinese
man. Very soon after he boarded, a flight attendant moved him. We weren’t
sure if he asked to move. But not long after he was back. The plane was
full.
For breakfast we had a choice of congee (rice gruel) or eggs (slimy in
middle)/ hashbrowns (soggy)/hotdog-looking sausage. Not impressed. The
flight attendants seemed to also be a tad less experienced than we’re used
to. We heard several loud crashes in the galley. During one crash I was
waiting to take LilDude to the bathroom and saw a teapot land on the floor,
splashing hot water everywhere. The flight was also fairly turbulent and I
was surprised when they continued to serve scalding hot beverages, despite
the fact that the teapots were held over people’s heads. I hoped that this
wasn’t indicative of the pilot’s experience. As we landed, we seemed to
hover over the runway for a long time before touching down. When we
stopped, we had to turn around on the runway and head back a few hundred
yards to the taxiway.
We collected our luggage and were met by Jane, the Holt representative in
Nanning. She’s worked with Holt here for nine years. On the drive to the
hotel she told us a lot more about GG. When I
asked about visiting the foster family she initially said that we couldn’t
unless the bonding was going really well by the end of the week. But at
some point I was able to say that I hoped to visit them so that he could
see us with the foster mom and have her say to him that we are his family.
And videotape it! She agreed that this was a good idea and said that we
could have a short meeting with the family on Friday morning.
During the drive she explained to us that he is very strong willed and
that he is pretty much always in a good mood as long as he gets what he
wants. And the fmom always lets him get what he wants. The few times that
he doesn’t, he’ll have a sit-down, crying, temper tantrum. Jane told us
specifically that we were to let him have whatever he wanted this week.
She also said that we were to keep him exactly on the schedule that he is
used to. Well,…he is used to sleeping 11pm-8am and 1-3pm and eating
and/or taking bottles every few hours. More like what we would think of as
a baby’s schedule. It wasn’t long before even Jane had to alter the
schedule because some appointments line up with his sleep time. So I guess
we’re all doing the best we can.
We arrived at the hotel in time to eat a bit, unpack a little, and get
ready to meet GG. Our hotel is fine/nice, but I will say my
earlier arrogance about enjoying beds in China is now humble pie. Our beds
here feel like a piece of plywood with a thin layer of cotton batting on
top. Or like sleeping on a box spring. I tried to turn on my side several
times last night but gave up when my hip bone started drilling into the
wood.
Anyway, so back to the reason we’re here…
We arrived in the Civil Affairs office, which happens to be the 4th floor
of a hotel. Wearing masks, we were ushered into a playroom where we saw a
couple workers and 2 children. The little boy in the center of the room
was already crying pretty hard with a orphanage staff person. When he
turned around and saw the five of us enter with masks, he turned up the
volume. Crying, crying, crying. I approached with Jane and sat down on the
floor with him. Within seconds, I asked to pull down my mask and she
allowed it. The others stayed on the perimeter for a little while, taking
photos and videotaping. LilDude wandered in and out of the area. I blew
bubbles with GG and the staff person. He’d momentarily stop crying to
blow, but then start up again like gangbusters. He kept repeating phrases
in Chinese. “I go home.” “Granny!” (in Chinese, what he calls fmom) And “I want to
sleep.” The orphanage worker left and the room cleared of everyone but us
and Jane. She told me to pick him up. I carried him around the room while
he sobbed. Sometimes he’d actively try to get away from me, but mostly he
was just miserable. REALLY miserable. He cried and cried and cried. Did I
say CRIED?!!!!???!!! When he slowed down, they said he was “ready to go.”
They brought a photographer in for a shot of him with Dh and I (for
documents) and then took a good family photo. We’re having the family
photo made into a souvenir.
We returned to the hotel where I proceeded to hold him on my lap from
about 4:45 until 8pm. In that time he would watch people out of the corner
of his eye, refusing to look at anyone. He didn’t want Dh to touch him.
He was okay with me, but he wouldn’t look at me either. He held his Dora
the Explorer doll much of this time. The doll is about 2.5’ tall; he is 3’
tall. Several times he sorta dozed off, seemingly as an escape. His fmom
sent some favorite treats with him, but he refused all eat and drink from
us, including the bottle that was on THE SCHEDULE and was a mandatory part
of the bedtime routine. The bedtime routine went out the window.
Dh took Lizzi & Anakin to eat dinner while I stayed in my chair
with GG and LilDude played Nintendo. GG seemed to improve after they
left, looking more awake and looking around. But it didn’t last long. He
started wailing and wailing, then screaming (I assume) for his foster mom
to return for him. We weren’t alone, as I heard another newly adopted
child screaming a few doors down. Why anyone else would choose to stay on
this floor is beyond me; there’s a lot of unhappy kiddos here. I think
there are at least 5 adoptive families in the hotel.
After awhile, he climbed off my lap. I let him go to see what he’d do.
Sobbing, he walked around the room, collecting all the items he’d arrived
with: his doll, some snacks, a few toys. Then he systematically found all
the toys we’d given him and brought them back to me, heaving sobs. He
seemed to be giving me all my stuff back and packing to leave but didn’t
seem to have any idea of where the door was. I picked him up and held him
as his crying increased to the point that he was gagging. He would have
thrown up, but since he’d refused all eat and drink from us, there was
nothing to urp. He did spit into the toilet, but that was about it. He
finally started talking about sleep again, so I down on the bed with him
and his doll. He turned away from me and looked at the doll and the wall.
Dh and kids returned with food. LilDude and I ate. GG refused everything
including the all-important bottle. BTW, on the bottle…Jane seemed
somewhat taken aback that we had not brought bottle supplies with us.
Bottles, bottle brushes, dishsoap, the works. In Beijing, they said that
we’d be supplied here with a bottle and all other kid-necessary supplies
since we didn’t get one there. At home we wrongly assumed that a 3-year-old
wouldn’t use a bottle. Jane says that orphanage children (including ones
in foster homes) typically get bottles until age FIVE in order to receive
adequate nutrition. She was VERY insistent that we give him a certain
amount of bottles/milk each day. So far that seems to be impossible.
At some point, Dh sat near him on the bed. I moved to the perimeter for
the first time since we’d received him. He was still lying down,
occasionally crying, so Anakin decided to put the Chinese lullaby CD on.
As soon as the CD went on, GG started looking around to see where it was
coming from. Anakin then put a fireworks screensaver on that moved to the
music. He moved it to the nightstand where GG watched with rapt attention.
Dh moved closer. And closer. And closer. Til he was snuggled up next to
him, rubbing his back. GG acted quite sleepy. I nixed mandatory bedtime
routine #2, bathtime (not wanting to start the crying again, which seemed
to start each time we tried to have him do something), and washing him off
with a warm washcloth on the bed instead. I put his pjs on, gave him a
lotion massage and figured that was it.
Up to this point, he’d been either sobbing, quietly crying, completely
trying to avoid us, or sleeping. Really grieving HARD. LilDude approached
him with my neck pillow on his head, a la Queen Amadala. GG quietly
smiled. Then laughed. Then LilDude started doing the “1000 funny faces” that
he does so well. GG laughed and laughed. Then they got out balls to throw
(that so far he’d only thrown a couple times…mostly just clung to) and
laughed more as LilDude melodramatically threw himself on the bed each time
GG threw the ball. The uproarious behavior continued for at least an hour.
Then he was tired. We all went to bed. He slept through the night. Sat up
in bed a couple of times. I just pointed him toward his doll and he went
back to sleep. He had one hand on my shoulder much of the night. Seemed
pretty relaxed.
Wow. And that’s only one day’s worth. Now to catch up about today. More
soon…
Current prayer request: LilDude has a fever and a cough. It’s just a cold,
but it’s bad timing. Please pray for QUICK recovery. And that GG doesn’t
get it.
are going to REALLY, REALLY LAUGH, but the Holt rep, Jane, says that he is
VERY spoiled and will have a sit-on-the-floor, kicking & crying temper
tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. Apparently, the foster mom has
conditioned this and gives in to his every desire. But he's always happy
and is very easy. LOL. Jane told us that for this week, she wants us to
ALSO GIVE IN TO HIS EVERY DESIRE. Should be interesting... We already
stashed all the medications and candy. Not really wanting to give him all
that he wants of those items.
When I asked about meeting the foster family she said that we could only
see them if the bonding looked good by late in the week. By the end of the
van ride, I convinced her that it's important no matter what...that he
needs to hear the foster mom tell him that we are his family now. Even if
it's hard in the moment. She acted like it's okay now and that she'd put a
short Friday a.m. meeting with the ffamily on her schedule.
Hopefully I'll be able to write more tonight. Wish us luck!
Oh, and btw, I think this is sad...
Jane asked us why it took us so long to come for him...that the orphanage
has been asking her on a regular basis for the past year "why isn't his
family coming?" They thought it was somehow in our control and our fault
that we weren't coming for him. I tried to explain Hague, but I don't know
that she really understood. It would be nice if agencies could communicate that arrivals from everyone, but especially arrivals from Hague families, are totally beyond our control. We tried to tell her we would have come a year ago had we been
allowed to.
Later...
Wow, do I have a lot to catch up on.
We left EARLY for the Beijing airport. Gorgeous terminal. Happy whisked us
through check-in. We boarded an Air China flight to Nanning, about a 3.5
hr. trip. I thought we were the only non-Chinese on the plane, but Dh
informs me that there was one Anglo guy in the front. We took up 5 of 6
seats in our row. Lizzi & Anakin were on the one side with a Chinese
man. Very soon after he boarded, a flight attendant moved him. We weren’t
sure if he asked to move. But not long after he was back. The plane was
full.
For breakfast we had a choice of congee (rice gruel) or eggs (slimy in
middle)/ hashbrowns (soggy)/hotdog-looking sausage. Not impressed. The
flight attendants seemed to also be a tad less experienced than we’re used
to. We heard several loud crashes in the galley. During one crash I was
waiting to take LilDude to the bathroom and saw a teapot land on the floor,
splashing hot water everywhere. The flight was also fairly turbulent and I
was surprised when they continued to serve scalding hot beverages, despite
the fact that the teapots were held over people’s heads. I hoped that this
wasn’t indicative of the pilot’s experience. As we landed, we seemed to
hover over the runway for a long time before touching down. When we
stopped, we had to turn around on the runway and head back a few hundred
yards to the taxiway.
We collected our luggage and were met by Jane, the Holt representative in
Nanning. She’s worked with Holt here for nine years. On the drive to the
hotel she told us a lot more about GG. When I
asked about visiting the foster family she initially said that we couldn’t
unless the bonding was going really well by the end of the week. But at
some point I was able to say that I hoped to visit them so that he could
see us with the foster mom and have her say to him that we are his family.
And videotape it! She agreed that this was a good idea and said that we
could have a short meeting with the family on Friday morning.
During the drive she explained to us that he is very strong willed and
that he is pretty much always in a good mood as long as he gets what he
wants. And the fmom always lets him get what he wants. The few times that
he doesn’t, he’ll have a sit-down, crying, temper tantrum. Jane told us
specifically that we were to let him have whatever he wanted this week.
She also said that we were to keep him exactly on the schedule that he is
used to. Well,…he is used to sleeping 11pm-8am and 1-3pm and eating
and/or taking bottles every few hours. More like what we would think of as
a baby’s schedule. It wasn’t long before even Jane had to alter the
schedule because some appointments line up with his sleep time. So I guess
we’re all doing the best we can.
We arrived at the hotel in time to eat a bit, unpack a little, and get
ready to meet GG. Our hotel is fine/nice, but I will say my
earlier arrogance about enjoying beds in China is now humble pie. Our beds
here feel like a piece of plywood with a thin layer of cotton batting on
top. Or like sleeping on a box spring. I tried to turn on my side several
times last night but gave up when my hip bone started drilling into the
wood.
Anyway, so back to the reason we’re here…
We arrived in the Civil Affairs office, which happens to be the 4th floor
of a hotel. Wearing masks, we were ushered into a playroom where we saw a
couple workers and 2 children. The little boy in the center of the room
was already crying pretty hard with a orphanage staff person. When he
turned around and saw the five of us enter with masks, he turned up the
volume. Crying, crying, crying. I approached with Jane and sat down on the
floor with him. Within seconds, I asked to pull down my mask and she
allowed it. The others stayed on the perimeter for a little while, taking
photos and videotaping. LilDude wandered in and out of the area. I blew
bubbles with GG and the staff person. He’d momentarily stop crying to
blow, but then start up again like gangbusters. He kept repeating phrases
in Chinese. “I go home.” “Granny!” (in Chinese, what he calls fmom) And “I want to
sleep.” The orphanage worker left and the room cleared of everyone but us
and Jane. She told me to pick him up. I carried him around the room while
he sobbed. Sometimes he’d actively try to get away from me, but mostly he
was just miserable. REALLY miserable. He cried and cried and cried. Did I
say CRIED?!!!!???!!! When he slowed down, they said he was “ready to go.”
They brought a photographer in for a shot of him with Dh and I (for
documents) and then took a good family photo. We’re having the family
photo made into a souvenir.
We returned to the hotel where I proceeded to hold him on my lap from
about 4:45 until 8pm. In that time he would watch people out of the corner
of his eye, refusing to look at anyone. He didn’t want Dh to touch him.
He was okay with me, but he wouldn’t look at me either. He held his Dora
the Explorer doll much of this time. The doll is about 2.5’ tall; he is 3’
tall. Several times he sorta dozed off, seemingly as an escape. His fmom
sent some favorite treats with him, but he refused all eat and drink from
us, including the bottle that was on THE SCHEDULE and was a mandatory part
of the bedtime routine. The bedtime routine went out the window.
Dh took Lizzi & Anakin to eat dinner while I stayed in my chair
with GG and LilDude played Nintendo. GG seemed to improve after they
left, looking more awake and looking around. But it didn’t last long. He
started wailing and wailing, then screaming (I assume) for his foster mom
to return for him. We weren’t alone, as I heard another newly adopted
child screaming a few doors down. Why anyone else would choose to stay on
this floor is beyond me; there’s a lot of unhappy kiddos here. I think
there are at least 5 adoptive families in the hotel.
After awhile, he climbed off my lap. I let him go to see what he’d do.
Sobbing, he walked around the room, collecting all the items he’d arrived
with: his doll, some snacks, a few toys. Then he systematically found all
the toys we’d given him and brought them back to me, heaving sobs. He
seemed to be giving me all my stuff back and packing to leave but didn’t
seem to have any idea of where the door was. I picked him up and held him
as his crying increased to the point that he was gagging. He would have
thrown up, but since he’d refused all eat and drink from us, there was
nothing to urp. He did spit into the toilet, but that was about it. He
finally started talking about sleep again, so I down on the bed with him
and his doll. He turned away from me and looked at the doll and the wall.
Dh and kids returned with food. LilDude and I ate. GG refused everything
including the all-important bottle. BTW, on the bottle…Jane seemed
somewhat taken aback that we had not brought bottle supplies with us.
Bottles, bottle brushes, dishsoap, the works. In Beijing, they said that
we’d be supplied here with a bottle and all other kid-necessary supplies
since we didn’t get one there. At home we wrongly assumed that a 3-year-old
wouldn’t use a bottle. Jane says that orphanage children (including ones
in foster homes) typically get bottles until age FIVE in order to receive
adequate nutrition. She was VERY insistent that we give him a certain
amount of bottles/milk each day. So far that seems to be impossible.
At some point, Dh sat near him on the bed. I moved to the perimeter for
the first time since we’d received him. He was still lying down,
occasionally crying, so Anakin decided to put the Chinese lullaby CD on.
As soon as the CD went on, GG started looking around to see where it was
coming from. Anakin then put a fireworks screensaver on that moved to the
music. He moved it to the nightstand where GG watched with rapt attention.
Dh moved closer. And closer. And closer. Til he was snuggled up next to
him, rubbing his back. GG acted quite sleepy. I nixed mandatory bedtime
routine #2, bathtime (not wanting to start the crying again, which seemed
to start each time we tried to have him do something), and washing him off
with a warm washcloth on the bed instead. I put his pjs on, gave him a
lotion massage and figured that was it.
Up to this point, he’d been either sobbing, quietly crying, completely
trying to avoid us, or sleeping. Really grieving HARD. LilDude approached
him with my neck pillow on his head, a la Queen Amadala. GG quietly
smiled. Then laughed. Then LilDude started doing the “1000 funny faces” that
he does so well. GG laughed and laughed. Then they got out balls to throw
(that so far he’d only thrown a couple times…mostly just clung to) and
laughed more as LilDude melodramatically threw himself on the bed each time
GG threw the ball. The uproarious behavior continued for at least an hour.
Then he was tired. We all went to bed. He slept through the night. Sat up
in bed a couple of times. I just pointed him toward his doll and he went
back to sleep. He had one hand on my shoulder much of the night. Seemed
pretty relaxed.
Wow. And that’s only one day’s worth. Now to catch up about today. More
soon…
Current prayer request: LilDude has a fever and a cough. It’s just a cold,
but it’s bad timing. Please pray for QUICK recovery. And that GG doesn’t
get it.
May 17: Orientation, Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City
Smoggy. That’s Beijing. The smog and/or cloud cover was so thick the first
several days here that I finally asked Happy if they ever see the sun. She
assured me that they do for much of the summer. Yesterday at the Great
Wall we had our first small sun sample peeking out from the smog. As a
result the temp was significantly higher. And today, the sky was clear and
the sun out all day. It was warm, although the wind that seems to
frequently blow here helps to keep the temp manageable. Happy says that
the smog has been significantly better ever since the Olympics and the new
regulations regarding # of cars on the road. 5 million cars in Beijing,
with an additional 1,000 added each day.
Following breakfast buffet (sadly our last in Beijing!), we headed to Holt
orientation. Here, we learned more about the Chinese culture and the
adoption process. One question I had, “Why are there less children
available for international adoption?” was answered. According to Les, our
facilitator, significant numbers of children are now being adopted by
Chinese, without penalty. This includes many girls.
At the end of our meeting came the moment we’d all been waiting for…we
finally got to receive the “red book” with new photos and updates of our
child. We were happily surprised to receive the first very happy looking
pictures. The last batch we got in February looked very, very anxious. In
these pictures, the look is one of pure delight. Hopefully that means
there’s been some education about what is about to occur. Hopefully. I
have heard several people including Les say that it’s pretty usual for
children to go to the orphanage for several days prior to the arrival of
the adoptive family. We’ll find out tomorrow. We received face masks that
we’ll be required to wear to the initial meeting. We’re also told that
it’s possible that they may bring the child to our hotel rather than
having us come to the office, so as to avoid too much contact with us. But
we won’t know til we arrive.
We leave our hotel at 5:30 a.m., fly to Guangxi, and meet our child at
3:30. Busy, exciting day. Today is my last day without an Ergo (child
carrier) for awhile. Hard to believe that the day has finally arrived.
It’s been quite the year. After we receive our child, I’ll post when I
can, but my time may obviously be limited.
At lunch we had another family style Chinese meal. Each person gets a tiny
plate on which they can serve themselves whatever they’d like from more
than 10 main dishes on a Lazy Susan in the center of the table. We ate til
we couldn’t eat more…and the table was still full of food. So yum! This was the table AFTER we were finished:
This afternoon we slathered on the suntan lotion for a warm trip to
Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Dh asked Happy a few questions
about the uprising at TS and she was pretty frank about the fact that she
knew almost nothing because it wasn’t in textbooks or accessible on the
internet in China. She couldn’t even begin to say when it happened,
thinking it may have been as far back as the 1960s. I was talking to
another one of the moms about this. While we’re very aware of massive
censorship, government presence, etc., we feel totally oblivious to it
here. It’s much different than what we expected in that sense. We have
experienced some annoyances—loss of access to blogger, for one. Today
Anakin lost his ability to access his Google mail account; we figure that
some filter picked up something and shut him out. But it’s so subtle that
you really forget about it if you aren’t looking.
It was interesting to see Tiananmen Square, with the famous building and
picture of Chairman Mao, but by the time we’d spent several warm hours
slowly walking through the very long Forbidden City, I’d come to a
conclusion. The Forbidden City, Summer Palace, and Temple of Heaven are
all historical sites that seem very much alike. Buildings look similar.
Tons of people. And each has a few very dirty (from all the people’s
fingerprints) windows that you can look through into very, very dark,
unlighted rooms to see a few artifacts. And you have to walk and walk to
see them. I really liked the stories behind them--I especially want to go
home and read about “The Dragon Lady”—but as far as getting a lot out of
seeing the actual buildings, well, I could take it or leave it. I loved
the Great Wall because it was different. Hutong because it was a slice of
real, contemporary life. Acrobats, tea house, and silk factory because
they were fascinating. But the historical buildings? Eh, not so much. I
think I enjoyed watching the tourists in each location more than I enjoyed
the actual tours. And it wasn’t for lack of a great guide. We love Happy.
And China.
Well, that’s it until I’m a mom to five. Next post from Guangxi.
May 16: Great Wall, Hutong Lane
Tomorrow they’re gonna hurt.
My legs, that is.
No one told me the Great Wall was that steep. My, oh my!
We began this morning with what was supposed to be an hour ride to the
Bodaling (sp?) section of the Great Wall. Happy told us that during
weekdays they’ve continued a system developed during the Olympics in which
car license plates ending in certain #s are only allowed to use the road
on certain days. But on the weekend, it’s a free-for-all. Everyone drives.
We certainly saw that today during our 2.5 hour trip to the Great Wall.
Apparently, all those people were headed to the same section of the Great
Wall. It was CROWDED. As we began our climb, we had a choice. Left or
right. Happy said that the right side was an easier climb but much more
crowded. One glance revealed that it was pretty much shoulder to shoulder
all the way up. I was thinking that if you just wedged yourself into the
crowd, the momentum alone might get you to the top. So we took the less
populated, steep side. “Less populated” might be overrated. “Steep” was a
huge understatement.
In several sections of our climb, we were ascending at about a 45 degree
angle. And then a few sections must have come close to 60 degrees…bend
halfway over at the waist, climb step that is as high as your shin, and
wonder how in the world your 44” child is RUNNING up the stairs. Well,
maybe not that section of stairs. But many sections. If you ask the
Chinese who they saw on the Great Wall today, they’d be able to identify
us by the woman bent over, huffing and puffing, and yelling to the kids,
“Wait for MOMMY!”
We went significantly further than anyone else in our group. Took us
almost 2 hours. When we got down, we bought “I Climbed the Great Wall”
tshirts. We deserved it!
About halfway up the wall, we ended up next to a group of young men from,
I assume, the U.S. They pointed at the ground in front of them, at the
feet of a woman. She was wearing SPIKED HEELS. I saw a couple of women in
spikes. Also saw a woman removed her spikes to climb. Saw a surprising
number of retired folks, both Chinese and foreigners, climbing. As
difficult as it was for me, I can’t imagine how hard it would have been
for them.
We had family style Chinese food for lunch. It was fine, though not nearly
as tasty as yesterday.
Speaking of family, we’ve now been joined by four other Holt families. The
one family that I mentioned earlier already has their daughter. The three
other families just arrived and are all awaiting their first child.
Interestingly enough, most of the folks are about our age—a few slightly
older, a few slightly younger. They informed me that I missed some rather
interesting emails from Holt that went out soon after we left. Apparently,
Holt has told those that are holding T.A.s (travel approvals) who don’t
already have confirmed travel (and I assume appointments) that they are
NOT traveling now. This is new and very different from what I heard on
Monday. So I guess things are changing quickly. Another email said that
folks who are traveling are required to wear masks at all official
meetings. Again, this all came out since we left, so they were trying to
fill me in.
One family said that they DID have someone on their flight with a fever.
Surreal experience. Medical personnel in full bio garb (right down to eye
goggles) came in to take away the feverish man. Then the 18 or so folks
around him were taken aside to be individually checked. They noted that
these people were later released as they saw them in the airport before
departing. I’m not sure which airport although I think Beijing. Another
family flew in through Hong Kong and were very surprised to not be
individually checked. They walked through the big heat sensing monitors
which, as I understand, have been in place ever since SARS. So no special
treatment there. As someone who’s been on the ground now for several days,
I find it odd that they are stopping adoption appointments as the whole
flu thing doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal on the street. But it is
in the adoption world. The family that already received their daughter
this week in Beijing said that in their meeting with officials, everyone
in the room wore masks and the officials wanted them out of there as
quickly as possible. I continue to wonder if we’ll be able to meet the
foster family as a result of flu scare.
Anyway, back to the day… After lunch we took another long ride back to
Beijing where we went to Hutong for a tour. Hutong is an old section of
the city with narrow alleys containing homes and businesses. We rode on
rickshaw-like bicycles and visited one woman’s home. The four room home
(bedroom, living area, kitchen, courtyard) was originally owned by her
grandparents. Homes are passed through the generations this way. The homes
have no bathrooms; the community shares one. LilDude enjoyed watching the
woman’s two little dogs that she calls “her daughters.” Happy explained
that the woman was retired and that Chinese women retire at 50; men at 55.
The homeowner’s niece invited us into the bedroom where she was at work
handpainting the insides of snuff bottles. Gorgeous artwork. We bought one
small bottle for 100 yuan (about $15.) She sells the bottles to hotels and
other tourist stops.
Tomorrow we begin the day with a Holt meeting in which we’ll receive new
photos and information about our child. Looking forward to it. And in the
afternoon we’ll tour Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Happy said
in the Forbidden City we’ll finally be able to learn how many concubines
the emperor had. Dying to know, aren’t you?
May 15: Summer Palace, Temple of Heaven
After another fabulous breakfast buffet we met Happy, our guide, who
happens to serve as both our Holt guide and our Lotus tour guide. It’s
really been nice to have the same person represent both places. We feel
very well cared for.
Happy and our driver took us first to the Summer Palace, former home of
the Empress or “Dragon Lady.” I enjoyed Happy’s stories of the cruel
Empress at least as much as I enjoyed touring the grounds. It was also
really nice to be able to talk with a Chinese National who could speak
English and answer a lot of our questions. One interesting tidbit that I
didn't know...she says that now if you and your husband are both the only
child of your parents that you are allowed to have two children without
penalty. I guess the idea is that one offspring for two parents and two
sets of grandparents is too big a burden for the child.
When we completed our Summer Palace tour, she explained that it was the
peak of lunch hour and suggested that we stop at a tea house first.
Definitely a highlight of the day. At the teahouse, our tea hostess taught
us about making various types of tea and made samples of 5 or so teas for
us to try. I now understand why other cultures drink tea. This stuff was
GOOD. Really GOOD. We bought some lychee and oolong (spelling?) teas to
bring home along with a cup depicting a Great Wall scene that changes
depending on water temperature. Oh, and we got a free “peeing boy.” She
demonstrated how to test water temperature by putting water in this little
clay figure that “pees” at the right temp. Seemed a little odd in a formal
tea room, but greatly amused the boys.
After tea, Happy took us to a Chinese restaurant and ordered lunch. Oh
boy! We had broccoli and beef, kungpao chicken, eggplant/potatoes, fried
sweet bananas, spicy cabbage soup, So, so good. We ate til we couldn’t
eat any more. (Seriously, the eating on this trip is not-to-be-beaten.)
Incidentally, I guess Happy isn’t too worried about catching swine flu
from Americans. As there were no serving spoons, she told us that we
should just dig into the dishes with our chopsticks. We had teeny tiny
little individual plates, so we refilled frequently. Speaking of swine
flu…according to her*, the quarantined Holt family made it to Beijing, but
were on a plane with someone with symptoms and as a result were
immediately sent back to the states without meeting their child. If that’s
true, I can’t imagine the stress and disappointment. Or sitting on another
15 hour flight without a rest in between. Which just goes to show that
it’s slightly important to not be on a flight with anyone with a fever.
Freaky. (*Later I learned that this probably wasn't true...that a family was quarantined in Beijing for a week, but they went on to join their original travel group and made it through the process.)
After lunch, we toured a silk factory…I think she said the oldest in
Beijing? They showed us the life cycle of silkworms, how the thread is
made, how the cloth is made, etc. Fascinating stuff. Lots of photos on the
wall of international dignitaries who’d visited.
Then on to Temple of Heaven. This is a place where the Emperor would go
three times a year to ask for good harvests. Now it’s remarkable for all
the folks that gather to dance, sing karaoke, play poker, etc. Lizzi
thrilled a Chinese man by agreeing to dance with him a bit. I’ll try to
load a video later. She was quite the dancer.
It’s been fairly cool here, btw. We’ve been wearing jeans or capris with
jackets. Perfect temps, really. I think it’ll get quite a bit hotter on
our next stop.
We made it back to the hotel by 5. We’re resting up in preparation to
visit the Great Wall tomorrow. Several other Holt families will accompany
us with Happy. We met one family briefly today, a mom, grandma, and
3-year-old girl they’d just received the day before from an orphanage in
Beijing.
So that’s it for now. Hugs to all.
happens to serve as both our Holt guide and our Lotus tour guide. It’s
really been nice to have the same person represent both places. We feel
very well cared for.
Happy and our driver took us first to the Summer Palace, former home of
the Empress or “Dragon Lady.” I enjoyed Happy’s stories of the cruel
Empress at least as much as I enjoyed touring the grounds. It was also
really nice to be able to talk with a Chinese National who could speak
English and answer a lot of our questions. One interesting tidbit that I
didn't know...she says that now if you and your husband are both the only
child of your parents that you are allowed to have two children without
penalty. I guess the idea is that one offspring for two parents and two
sets of grandparents is too big a burden for the child.
When we completed our Summer Palace tour, she explained that it was the
peak of lunch hour and suggested that we stop at a tea house first.
Definitely a highlight of the day. At the teahouse, our tea hostess taught
us about making various types of tea and made samples of 5 or so teas for
us to try. I now understand why other cultures drink tea. This stuff was
GOOD. Really GOOD. We bought some lychee and oolong (spelling?) teas to
bring home along with a cup depicting a Great Wall scene that changes
depending on water temperature. Oh, and we got a free “peeing boy.” She
demonstrated how to test water temperature by putting water in this little
clay figure that “pees” at the right temp. Seemed a little odd in a formal
tea room, but greatly amused the boys.
After tea, Happy took us to a Chinese restaurant and ordered lunch. Oh
boy! We had broccoli and beef, kungpao chicken, eggplant/potatoes, fried
sweet bananas, spicy cabbage soup, So, so good. We ate til we couldn’t
eat any more. (Seriously, the eating on this trip is not-to-be-beaten.)
Incidentally, I guess Happy isn’t too worried about catching swine flu
from Americans. As there were no serving spoons, she told us that we
should just dig into the dishes with our chopsticks. We had teeny tiny
little individual plates, so we refilled frequently. Speaking of swine
flu…according to her*, the quarantined Holt family made it to Beijing, but
were on a plane with someone with symptoms and as a result were
immediately sent back to the states without meeting their child. If that’s
true, I can’t imagine the stress and disappointment. Or sitting on another
15 hour flight without a rest in between. Which just goes to show that
it’s slightly important to not be on a flight with anyone with a fever.
Freaky. (*Later I learned that this probably wasn't true...that a family was quarantined in Beijing for a week, but they went on to join their original travel group and made it through the process.)
After lunch, we toured a silk factory…I think she said the oldest in
Beijing? They showed us the life cycle of silkworms, how the thread is
made, how the cloth is made, etc. Fascinating stuff. Lots of photos on the
wall of international dignitaries who’d visited.
Then on to Temple of Heaven. This is a place where the Emperor would go
three times a year to ask for good harvests. Now it’s remarkable for all
the folks that gather to dance, sing karaoke, play poker, etc. Lizzi
thrilled a Chinese man by agreeing to dance with him a bit. I’ll try to
load a video later. She was quite the dancer.
It’s been fairly cool here, btw. We’ve been wearing jeans or capris with
jackets. Perfect temps, really. I think it’ll get quite a bit hotter on
our next stop.
We made it back to the hotel by 5. We’re resting up in preparation to
visit the Great Wall tomorrow. Several other Holt families will accompany
us with Happy. We met one family briefly today, a mom, grandma, and
3-year-old girl they’d just received the day before from an orphanage in
Beijing.
So that’s it for now. Hugs to all.
May 14: Shopping
Our second day, May 14, was a “free day.” We went to the “walking street”
or Wang Fu Jing. In order to get there, we had to cross the street. TWICE.
No small task. Anyone who has been to Beijing already knows this, but for
those of you who don’t,…understand that CROSSING THE STREET in Beijing
translates to "I HAVE A DEATH WISH…THE SOONER THE BETTER, PLEASE.”
Seriously, it’s scary. Cars, vans, and yes, BUSES, have the right away.
Always. Even when the pedestrian light is green. Your only hope is to find
a crowd of Chinese, try to get as close to them as possible, close your
eyes, and GO. We almost lost dh to a moped and Lizzi to a bus. The
people on the bus laughed at her. I didn’t think it was all that funny. I
told everyone we no longer cross the street without a ton of Chinese
people nearby.
So we survived. We first went to the mall where we were surprised by a few
things. First, the ratio of clerks to shoppers was often 1:1 or 2:1.
Clerks everywhere. Not that many shoppers. But with the prices, we weren’t
surprised. Stuff wasn’t cheap. It was really no different than being in
any N. American mall. Cleaner, maybe. I never did see a trash can in the
mall, so I wasn’t sure how it managed to stay so clean…except perhaps that
high worker to shopper ratio. The only thing we found to be cheap was
Cds/DVDs. The kids each bought a few. Lizzi got one for $2 that we
estimated to cost around $30 at home. I bought a couple kids’ Cds. I tried
to find some that were in Chinese and suitable for 3-year-olds, but the
clerks didn’t think they had anything that met the criteria. We looked at
the DVDs for a long time, but weren’t sure they’d work at home. They were
also inexpensive.
We walked through a lot of shops. And then cruised a side street where you
could buy scorpions on a stick. Yum.
Apparently, it’s important to have them fresh, so they are
strung on the stick alive and then deep fried on the spot. We also saw
some sort of insect as well as sea horses for eating off a stick. As we
weren’t really all that hungry, we left.
We made a stop at a grocery store for bottled water to take back to our
room. And treated each kid to their own bottle of pop. Oh, incidentally,
we weren’t hungry mostly because the breakfast buffet in our hotel (Novotel Peace) is amazing. Oh, the FOOD. Some Chinese, some traditional breakfast stuff. Pot
stickers, fried noodles, fish, eggs cooked 3 or 4 different ways,
pancakes, waffles, miso soup, congee, pastries, yogurt drinks, 4 kinds of
juice, several kinds of fruit…and much, much more. It’s fantastic. We see
a lot of international travelers in our hotel. I guess the owners are
French; Air France uses the hotel as a travel base. But lots of other
international travelers as well.
But back to shopping… Although a few people approached us to buy things,
it was less than we expected. And we started to wonder about something. We
caught a lot of people staring at LilDude. Often staring from me to
LilDude and back. We think people were very confused by seeing an Asian
child with an Anglo family. Finally, one salesgirl directly asked, “Is he
Chinese?” And even after we said he was born in Korea she still wanted to
know if he spoke Chinese. She said he looked very Chinese. I think LilDude
confused people and made them a little unsure of where we were from and
therefore weren't as likely to give us high pressure sales pitches. I told
LilDude he was lucky. He could pretend to be Chinese or Korean or American.
As long as he didn’t speak, that is. He thought this was quite humorous.
Everywhere we go, we continue to get stares that seem to focus on how this
little “Chinese” boy could be with us. Some people assume that because of
his presence, we speak Chinese.
After shopping, we returned to the hotel to take a nap. Then a Thai meal
at the mall where all of us ate well for only about $20. The same meal at
home would have cost double. After dinner we caught a cab for what was
supposed to be a 20 minute ride to the Acrobat show at the Choayang
theater. But the 20 minute cab ride easily turned into a 40 minute ride.
Traffic here is incredible. Cars everywhere. Long lights. Bicycles,
pedestrians, cars, buses, everyone merging at once, all the time. We
entered the theatre with about a minute to go before the show. It was
amazing.
The show was indescribable. Everything from people bending in ways that
look absolutely painful, to jumping through rings in crazy ways, to
loading one bicycle with about 12 people, to incredible balance tricks.
Very cool. But we were also feeling the effects of jet lag. I LOVED the
show, but caught my head bobbing once just because I was so tired. LilDude fell asleep on the way back. We all went straight to bed and slept well.
Great day.
or Wang Fu Jing. In order to get there, we had to cross the street. TWICE.
No small task. Anyone who has been to Beijing already knows this, but for
those of you who don’t,…understand that CROSSING THE STREET in Beijing
translates to "I HAVE A DEATH WISH…THE SOONER THE BETTER, PLEASE.”
Seriously, it’s scary. Cars, vans, and yes, BUSES, have the right away.
Always. Even when the pedestrian light is green. Your only hope is to find
a crowd of Chinese, try to get as close to them as possible, close your
eyes, and GO. We almost lost dh to a moped and Lizzi to a bus. The
people on the bus laughed at her. I didn’t think it was all that funny. I
told everyone we no longer cross the street without a ton of Chinese
people nearby.
So we survived. We first went to the mall where we were surprised by a few
things. First, the ratio of clerks to shoppers was often 1:1 or 2:1.
Clerks everywhere. Not that many shoppers. But with the prices, we weren’t
surprised. Stuff wasn’t cheap. It was really no different than being in
any N. American mall. Cleaner, maybe. I never did see a trash can in the
mall, so I wasn’t sure how it managed to stay so clean…except perhaps that
high worker to shopper ratio. The only thing we found to be cheap was
Cds/DVDs. The kids each bought a few. Lizzi got one for $2 that we
estimated to cost around $30 at home. I bought a couple kids’ Cds. I tried
to find some that were in Chinese and suitable for 3-year-olds, but the
clerks didn’t think they had anything that met the criteria. We looked at
the DVDs for a long time, but weren’t sure they’d work at home. They were
also inexpensive.
We walked through a lot of shops. And then cruised a side street where you
could buy scorpions on a stick. Yum.
Apparently, it’s important to have them fresh, so they arestrung on the stick alive and then deep fried on the spot. We also saw
some sort of insect as well as sea horses for eating off a stick. As we
weren’t really all that hungry, we left.
We made a stop at a grocery store for bottled water to take back to our
room. And treated each kid to their own bottle of pop. Oh, incidentally,
we weren’t hungry mostly because the breakfast buffet in our hotel (Novotel Peace) is amazing. Oh, the FOOD. Some Chinese, some traditional breakfast stuff. Pot
stickers, fried noodles, fish, eggs cooked 3 or 4 different ways,
pancakes, waffles, miso soup, congee, pastries, yogurt drinks, 4 kinds of
juice, several kinds of fruit…and much, much more. It’s fantastic. We see
a lot of international travelers in our hotel. I guess the owners are
French; Air France uses the hotel as a travel base. But lots of other
international travelers as well.
But back to shopping… Although a few people approached us to buy things,
it was less than we expected. And we started to wonder about something. We
caught a lot of people staring at LilDude. Often staring from me to
LilDude and back. We think people were very confused by seeing an Asian
child with an Anglo family. Finally, one salesgirl directly asked, “Is he
Chinese?” And even after we said he was born in Korea she still wanted to
know if he spoke Chinese. She said he looked very Chinese. I think LilDude
confused people and made them a little unsure of where we were from and
therefore weren't as likely to give us high pressure sales pitches. I told
LilDude he was lucky. He could pretend to be Chinese or Korean or American.
As long as he didn’t speak, that is. He thought this was quite humorous.
Everywhere we go, we continue to get stares that seem to focus on how this
little “Chinese” boy could be with us. Some people assume that because of
his presence, we speak Chinese.
After shopping, we returned to the hotel to take a nap. Then a Thai meal
at the mall where all of us ate well for only about $20. The same meal at
home would have cost double. After dinner we caught a cab for what was
supposed to be a 20 minute ride to the Acrobat show at the Choayang
theater. But the 20 minute cab ride easily turned into a 40 minute ride.
Traffic here is incredible. Cars everywhere. Long lights. Bicycles,
pedestrians, cars, buses, everyone merging at once, all the time. We
entered the theatre with about a minute to go before the show. It was
amazing.
The show was indescribable. Everything from people bending in ways that
look absolutely painful, to jumping through rings in crazy ways, to
loading one bicycle with about 12 people, to incredible balance tricks.
Very cool. But we were also feeling the effects of jet lag. I LOVED the
show, but caught my head bobbing once just because I was so tired. LilDude fell asleep on the way back. We all went straight to bed and slept well.
Great day.
May 13: Made it to China
May 13, 2009
We’re here.
In quarantine.
Just kidding. Hehe.
I’m typing on Word and will later try to upload to blogger. We have to try to access from the lobby, so it’ll be hit and miss. Which means we probably can’t Skype anytime soon either.
I’m really not sure what day it is or what time zone I’m in. We left at 2:25p.m.on May 12 and left the Beijing Airport for out hotel at a little after midnight on May 14. I think we completely skipped Anakin & Big Sis's birthdays. We did sing (quietly) to Anakin somewhere over the ocean and gave him a Lego Starwars game for the Nintendo.
But back to what I’m sure you’re interested in…the flu.
From the gate in the U.S., we knew things might be a little different. At check-in, the Northwest attendant indicated that things were definitely happening in Tokyo that were messing up Northwest; that their flight attendants were being held (I assume quarantined) due to people on flights with fevers. He strongly advised that people not go with fevers.
On the 10.5 hour flight to Tokyo we saw several Asian folks with masks on. As we got closer and closer to China, the number of masks exponentially increased in airports…but more on that later.
The flight to Tokyo was superb…or as superb as any 10.5 hour flight can be. Thanks to dh, we were seated in an area that wasn’t quite full. We were in the middle of the plane where there were four seats together. Lizzi, 'LilDude and I had one set of four seats, so he could stretch out between us and sleep for short periods of time. Anakin and dh were seated next to one masked young man with an empty seat on their other side, so they moved over, giving them an extra space. I highly recommend the Northwest entertainment system. We each had a screen and could choose from multiple video games that could even be played interactively with another seat on the plane; Lizzi even played games against dh, sitting in front of her. The movie choices included a list of perhaps thirty or so flicks, from new releases to classics. 'LilDude had at least 5-6 or more kid movies to choose from. I barely even broke into his rather full backpack, save a bit of time on Lisa’s Didj. At one point, dh and Anakin were watching a movie in tandem so that dh could stop Anakin and make him fastforward if anything was inappropriate. We were also fed well. A decent dinner and breakfast as well as the usual pretzels and the unusual ice cream sandwich. I thought the ice cream sandwich was their feeble attempt to lower our temps before we reached Tokyo. ;) We drank a lot of water on the flight, trying to stay hydrated. We also took preventative Ibuprofen. I did not want us to be the ones holding up the guys in the white bunny suits.
When we reached Tokyo we were told to remain in our seats as local health authorities embarked the plane. They had almost full surgical scrubs on, with masks. We were told that taking photographs could “slow the process” so we only have one distant photo of the initial process.
First a guy went up the plane, row by row, and very quickly scanned the row with some sort of heat measuring device. We did not have individual temps taken, rather he seemed to mostly be looking for hot spots. Then we had individual interviews with authorities who reviewed health forms we’d filled out on the plane. We had to say if we’d been around pigs, been around sick people, had any of the following symptoms in the last two weeks (from sore throat to headache to nausea) and whether we’d taken some kind of meds (didn’t understand the term, but I assume it meant fever meds) any time in the last two weeks. I filled out the forms before we took Ibuprofen. ;) Although I’m not even sure that the form was referring to that. We also had to say exactly where we were going and how we could be contacted. So they can still come find us if anyone gets sick. They told us this process could take up to an hour but that all connecting flights would wait for us. They finished the plane and then all the health authorities seemed to disappear. After ten minutes or more they gave us the all clear.
In the Tokyo airport we went through security screening like we were entering an airport. We didn’t have to take shoes off, but we were not to have ANY liquids. We didn’t want to lose our antibacterial lotion and no one confiscated it. I really don’t think they were checking things very closely. Although perhaps they knew that we’d already gone through previous security screenings in other airports? In Tokyo, as we left the plane, we passed a LOT of workers wearing face masks. They then handed out face masks to everyone as they left the breezeway. Quite a few Asian folks wore them; I saw almost no Anglo/N.Americans with them on. One family put them on for a photo op and then took them off.
In the flight from Tokyo to Beijing we had the same flight amenities. But after 10.5 hours, the entertainment systems were no longer terribly entertaining. We were mostly wiped, having been up for about a day by that time. Interesting thing about
LilDude…when he is exhausted, he gets wound. And I mean wound. Like a top wound up too tight. Or a pin ball on steroids. He gets loud, hyper, and generally difficult to rein in. (Our poor guide’s first impression probably wasn’t great last night. She kept watching him and finally said, “He has a lot of energy.” The understatement of the night.)
On the flight to Beijing, I felt a tad funny after eating dinner…which was an unappetizing chicken dish with all the fat/skin (dh and Anakin had the beef and it was better). I was also definitely feeling the effects of lack of sleep. So I wasn’t terribly surprised when LilDude mentioned in passing that his tummy didn’t feel that great, both on the Tokyo and Beijing flights. We had quite a bit of turbulence coming into Tokyo and a little bit between Tokyo and Beijing, so it was understandable.
But then, dh, who happens to have the “miracle touch” when it comes to sensing kid fevers, started saying that he wondered if LilDude had a fever. I wasn’t sure, but I’m not nearly as good at it as dh. He did feel warm. Kinda sweaty. So in addition to the second dose of Ibuprofen I’d just dealt out for Beijing, I also gave him Tylenol. And then a Pepto Bismal pill. About 5 minutes before landing in Beijing, he suddenly looks at me and says, “I feel something in my mouth.” That’s when Mommy experience pays off big-time. It took me about as fast as you can say “Beijing quarantine” for me to locate an airsickness bag, let him quietly dump the Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and PeptoBismal into it, roll it up, stash it beneath his seat, and turn to see if anyone noticed. Luckily, we were in a row of three and dh and I were on each side of him. No one saw. (In fact, when Lizzi and Anakin read this today, they said, "He threw up???? They were sitting across the aisle from us and didn't notice.)
LilDude felt better. And dh hoped that his forehead was a little cooler. But now came the big question…what to do with the evidence?
We could no longer access the bathroom. We were NOT going to tell the flight attendants who would obligate us to change our already filled out health forms which included “vomiting.” And we could not leave the evidence behind as the “local health authorities” would know someone on the plane was sick. And understand that this would NOT be a good thing. So we put the bag in a plastic bag we’d gotten in the airport when we bought neck pillows. Neck pillows out, evidence in. I simply carried it out like any other souvenir bag. And deposited it in a bathroom trash in the airport.
Upon landing, this time, EVERY PERSON had their forehead individually scanned. Two guys went through the entire plane and aimed their “gun” at each person’s head. We didn’t know if it’d help, but I did stroke his forehead with my freezing cold hand several times. Thankfully, we all passed. No one checked our health forms until we disembarked. Then we got in lines to have them checked. Then a final line for passports/Visa. After the lines, we easily got our luggage (no customs check…no different to get luggage here than at home) and met our guide who popped us in a van with a driver and took us to our hotel. We were in bed by around 1a.m. local time. BTW, we have not experienced the complaint that we’ve read on forums about rock hard mattresses. Lizzi commented this morning how comfortable her bed is…with about the same width as the one that held three of us in Atlanta.
But back to flu travel…
After going through health screening in both Tokyo and Beijing, here’s my analysis.
It’d be REALLY BAD NEWS if you were found to have a fever on a flight.
It’d be REALLY BAD NEWS to sit anywhere close to someone with a fever.
It could very possibly be bad news to have ANYONE on your flight with a fever.
Oh, and it’d probably be best to not throw up just as the health authorities are boarding the plane.
Other than that, travel is fine.
Today is a free day for us to catch up on rest and walk around local markets. We’ll update as we have time. Will also try to add a few photos.
We’re here.
In quarantine.
Just kidding. Hehe.
I’m typing on Word and will later try to upload to blogger. We have to try to access from the lobby, so it’ll be hit and miss. Which means we probably can’t Skype anytime soon either.
I’m really not sure what day it is or what time zone I’m in. We left at 2:25p.m.on May 12 and left the Beijing Airport for out hotel at a little after midnight on May 14. I think we completely skipped Anakin & Big Sis's birthdays. We did sing (quietly) to Anakin somewhere over the ocean and gave him a Lego Starwars game for the Nintendo.
But back to what I’m sure you’re interested in…the flu.
From the gate in the U.S., we knew things might be a little different. At check-in, the Northwest attendant indicated that things were definitely happening in Tokyo that were messing up Northwest; that their flight attendants were being held (I assume quarantined) due to people on flights with fevers. He strongly advised that people not go with fevers.
On the 10.5 hour flight to Tokyo we saw several Asian folks with masks on. As we got closer and closer to China, the number of masks exponentially increased in airports…but more on that later.
The flight to Tokyo was superb…or as superb as any 10.5 hour flight can be. Thanks to dh, we were seated in an area that wasn’t quite full. We were in the middle of the plane where there were four seats together. Lizzi, 'LilDude and I had one set of four seats, so he could stretch out between us and sleep for short periods of time. Anakin and dh were seated next to one masked young man with an empty seat on their other side, so they moved over, giving them an extra space. I highly recommend the Northwest entertainment system. We each had a screen and could choose from multiple video games that could even be played interactively with another seat on the plane; Lizzi even played games against dh, sitting in front of her. The movie choices included a list of perhaps thirty or so flicks, from new releases to classics. 'LilDude had at least 5-6 or more kid movies to choose from. I barely even broke into his rather full backpack, save a bit of time on Lisa’s Didj. At one point, dh and Anakin were watching a movie in tandem so that dh could stop Anakin and make him fastforward if anything was inappropriate. We were also fed well. A decent dinner and breakfast as well as the usual pretzels and the unusual ice cream sandwich. I thought the ice cream sandwich was their feeble attempt to lower our temps before we reached Tokyo. ;) We drank a lot of water on the flight, trying to stay hydrated. We also took preventative Ibuprofen. I did not want us to be the ones holding up the guys in the white bunny suits.
When we reached Tokyo we were told to remain in our seats as local health authorities embarked the plane. They had almost full surgical scrubs on, with masks. We were told that taking photographs could “slow the process” so we only have one distant photo of the initial process.
First a guy went up the plane, row by row, and very quickly scanned the row with some sort of heat measuring device. We did not have individual temps taken, rather he seemed to mostly be looking for hot spots. Then we had individual interviews with authorities who reviewed health forms we’d filled out on the plane. We had to say if we’d been around pigs, been around sick people, had any of the following symptoms in the last two weeks (from sore throat to headache to nausea) and whether we’d taken some kind of meds (didn’t understand the term, but I assume it meant fever meds) any time in the last two weeks. I filled out the forms before we took Ibuprofen. ;) Although I’m not even sure that the form was referring to that. We also had to say exactly where we were going and how we could be contacted. So they can still come find us if anyone gets sick. They told us this process could take up to an hour but that all connecting flights would wait for us. They finished the plane and then all the health authorities seemed to disappear. After ten minutes or more they gave us the all clear. In the Tokyo airport we went through security screening like we were entering an airport. We didn’t have to take shoes off, but we were not to have ANY liquids. We didn’t want to lose our antibacterial lotion and no one confiscated it. I really don’t think they were checking things very closely. Although perhaps they knew that we’d already gone through previous security screenings in other airports? In Tokyo, as we left the plane, we passed a LOT of workers wearing face masks. They then handed out face masks to everyone as they left the breezeway. Quite a few Asian folks wore them; I saw almost no Anglo/N.Americans with them on. One family put them on for a photo op and then took them off.
In the flight from Tokyo to Beijing we had the same flight amenities. But after 10.5 hours, the entertainment systems were no longer terribly entertaining. We were mostly wiped, having been up for about a day by that time. Interesting thing about
LilDude…when he is exhausted, he gets wound. And I mean wound. Like a top wound up too tight. Or a pin ball on steroids. He gets loud, hyper, and generally difficult to rein in. (Our poor guide’s first impression probably wasn’t great last night. She kept watching him and finally said, “He has a lot of energy.” The understatement of the night.)
On the flight to Beijing, I felt a tad funny after eating dinner…which was an unappetizing chicken dish with all the fat/skin (dh and Anakin had the beef and it was better). I was also definitely feeling the effects of lack of sleep. So I wasn’t terribly surprised when LilDude mentioned in passing that his tummy didn’t feel that great, both on the Tokyo and Beijing flights. We had quite a bit of turbulence coming into Tokyo and a little bit between Tokyo and Beijing, so it was understandable.
But then, dh, who happens to have the “miracle touch” when it comes to sensing kid fevers, started saying that he wondered if LilDude had a fever. I wasn’t sure, but I’m not nearly as good at it as dh. He did feel warm. Kinda sweaty. So in addition to the second dose of Ibuprofen I’d just dealt out for Beijing, I also gave him Tylenol. And then a Pepto Bismal pill. About 5 minutes before landing in Beijing, he suddenly looks at me and says, “I feel something in my mouth.” That’s when Mommy experience pays off big-time. It took me about as fast as you can say “Beijing quarantine” for me to locate an airsickness bag, let him quietly dump the Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and PeptoBismal into it, roll it up, stash it beneath his seat, and turn to see if anyone noticed. Luckily, we were in a row of three and dh and I were on each side of him. No one saw. (In fact, when Lizzi and Anakin read this today, they said, "He threw up???? They were sitting across the aisle from us and didn't notice.)
LilDude felt better. And dh hoped that his forehead was a little cooler. But now came the big question…what to do with the evidence?
We could no longer access the bathroom. We were NOT going to tell the flight attendants who would obligate us to change our already filled out health forms which included “vomiting.” And we could not leave the evidence behind as the “local health authorities” would know someone on the plane was sick. And understand that this would NOT be a good thing. So we put the bag in a plastic bag we’d gotten in the airport when we bought neck pillows. Neck pillows out, evidence in. I simply carried it out like any other souvenir bag. And deposited it in a bathroom trash in the airport.
Upon landing, this time, EVERY PERSON had their forehead individually scanned. Two guys went through the entire plane and aimed their “gun” at each person’s head. We didn’t know if it’d help, but I did stroke his forehead with my freezing cold hand several times. Thankfully, we all passed. No one checked our health forms until we disembarked. Then we got in lines to have them checked. Then a final line for passports/Visa. After the lines, we easily got our luggage (no customs check…no different to get luggage here than at home) and met our guide who popped us in a van with a driver and took us to our hotel. We were in bed by around 1a.m. local time. BTW, we have not experienced the complaint that we’ve read on forums about rock hard mattresses. Lizzi commented this morning how comfortable her bed is…with about the same width as the one that held three of us in Atlanta.
But back to flu travel…
After going through health screening in both Tokyo and Beijing, here’s my analysis.
It’d be REALLY BAD NEWS if you were found to have a fever on a flight.
It’d be REALLY BAD NEWS to sit anywhere close to someone with a fever.
It could very possibly be bad news to have ANYONE on your flight with a fever.
Oh, and it’d probably be best to not throw up just as the health authorities are boarding the plane.
Other than that, travel is fine.
Today is a free day for us to catch up on rest and walk around local markets. We’ll update as we have time. Will also try to add a few photos.
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