May 23: Guangzhou, Day 1, Agency Mtg. & Shopping

Day started off with LilDude awaking with an earache (a 9 on a scale of
1-10) and another fever. If he makes it through this trip with one healthy
day, we will consider ourselves fortunate. It isn’t unusual for him to get
a fever with a cold…that seems to be how his body works. But this has been
ridiculous. It’s probably a combination of factors. Stress, for sure.
Constant travel—esp the altitude involved with flying. Tons of
smog/pollution. Eating and sleeping changes. Let’s see, is there anything
else left??? ; ) I don’t regret bringing the kids at all—this has been
the trip of a lifetime and I think their presence made things easier on GG
—but the constant fight to get/stay healthy has been hard.

We put LilDude back to bed and he slept in along with GG. Everyone else but
me went down to breakfast. But when both boys woke up, I went ahead and
took them down. We had to hurry as we were to meet the other families
for a paperwork meeting at 10. The breakfast buffet is okay here. Not
like our first, awesome, buffet, but okay…especially in comparison to the
Majestic in Nanning. At least this food isn’t greasy. We feel VERY
fortunate to have booked the Victory here in Guangzhou. If you’re an
adoptive parent, you know that there is a constant debate on forums about
what’s better…Victory or White Swan? Well, for our family it was a
no-brainer as the White Swan would have doubled our cost. But we feel
fortunate anyway. Our rooms are HUGE and beautiful while we’ve heard that
the White Swan’s are small. We have free internet access (300RMB at WS) as
well as a computer in our room. We also have a reverse osmosis water
faucet in our room so we can drink the water. The only down side to our
accommodation is that we have no door between our rooms, so we do a lot of
traipsing back and forth in the hallway. I was prepared to be jealous of
the WS’s pool, but it’s too rainy/cool to swim outdoors anyway. Ever since
we’ve arrived it’s been POURING rain. Not just NW-type rain. But
DRENCHING rain. It’s not hot. Just humid/rainy. Even the rooms feel kinda
wet. It’s like you can’t escape the wet feel. I’m wondering how the
laundry I washed and hung up in the bathroom is ever going to dry. Today
we watched people hanging laundry from their apartment balconies and I
wondered the same thing. But at least it’s not terribly hot. I’d take rain over excruciating heat any day.

We met five other agency families this morning at the White Swan office to
compile paperwork. It’s the first time since Beijing that we’ve been able
to see the families that we started out with; it’s been fun to catch up
with them and see their new children. The meeting took about an hour.
About 3/4 of the way into the meeting GG started saying something to me
over and over. I finally asked the guide what he was saying.
She laughed. “He has to pee.” That’s one thing about adopting a
3-year-old…the communicating is really frustrating. “Why can’t these crazy
people understand when I talk?” We must look really pathetic to him at
times.

Another tough thing about adopting a 3-year-old? They naturally want to be
independent. And they have their own way of doing things that are already
ingrained. So when you won’t let them take a heavy, glass hotel cup full
of water and walk away, it can get a little tense, to put it mildly.

After the meeting, GG posed for a quick Visa photo and we headed back to
the hotel. We relaxed and hung out a bit before heading to a Thai
restaurant (Cow and Bridge) for lunch. We enjoyed a variety of dishes
there. Well, most of us did. Like most meals this week, GG refuses to eat
much of anything. Lately we seem to hit and miss. He’ll eat one good meal
every once-in-a-while (enough to keep him from starving.) For example,
yesterday afternoon he allowed me to feed him a bowl of congee and a
little fried rice before we left Nanning. But then nothing at breakfast
except one bite of watermelon. He did take one bottle later, but that’s
it. So by lunch, he should have been starving.

The waitress brought a basket of some kind of chips. Not sure what they
were but they tasted a little seafoody and had a spicy nip. He asked for a
chip and I gave him one. He asked for and received another. Meanwhile,
lunch arrives. He REFUSES to eat anything but chips. So today he learned
the art of compromise. I would let him eat his chip (and continue to give
him new ones) as long as I could feed him a bite of something else in
between. So one bite of chip, one bite of noodles. Another bite of chip, a
bite of veggies. At one point he spit a mouthful out; apparently, sweet
and sour sauce is NOT to his liking. From what we can tell from the foster
home, I do think he is used to a lot of sweets. So real food might be a
change. They said he’d eat anything and didn’t have anything he didn’t
like. But perhaps he didn’t have any desserts he didn’t like??? Or perhaps
he always got to do what he wanted in regards to food? Anyway, he and I
very skillfully compromised at lunch. I was proud of us both.

After lunch we joined some of the other families for a bus ride to
the pearl/jade market. Lizzi & Anakin both had fun bargaining (with
Dh’s help) for some stuff they wanted. I can’t say that I really wanted
anything. So I mostly wandered, trying to keep two very hot/humid/sticky
little boys from going nuts. I was only successful part of the time.

You might say that all of the families in our group are pooped. Just wiped
out. It feels like we’ve been constantly on the run for weeks…and now
we’re on the run with tired, grieving children that we barely know.
Tomorrow will be a much-anticipated day of rest. The only thing on the
agenda is a group meal at an Italian restaurant. All the families are
happy to have a day off. Sounds like the staff here is wiped, too.
Apparently, they just finished with a group of 19 families that included
the family that was quarantined in Beijing as well as 2 families who
didn't complete their adoptions. As you’ll recall, I mentioned earlier
that one of the families in a blog I was following decided not to bring
their daughter home. It seems to be an ever-growing phenomenon. I don’t
know why. As someone who frequently hears from families who are
disrupting, I would say that I’d prefer they not start than decide to quit
later. I wonder if the long waits for the non-special needs China program
is causing families to try to jump ahead by getting in the special needs
line and are then finding that they are ill-prepared for what awaits them.
I don’t know. The stories that I’ve heard most recently lead me to believe
that some folks are very unrealistic about what it means to adopt children who
are coming from institutional backgrounds. You don’t adopt a child from an
orphanage and expect them to be on-target, developmentally. It’s just not
realistic. I’m hearing about families who are upset because their children
aren’t speaking or walking or interacting the way “they are supposed to.”
The sad thing is that, for many of these kids, time and some work can
change a lot. It may not “cure” everything, but getting them home and into
a stimulating environment can certainly make a difference. But I don't know.
I'm certainly not in their shoes. But I've now heard of 4 of these situations
that have occurred in the last 3 weeks. That seems excessive.

After the market we went to the mall. It too was hot/sticky and I again
tried to entertain two little boys while Lizzi, Anakin, and Dh
focused on shopping for Cds. It’s funny how the clerks try to entice you.
EVERYTHING will work on our DVD players, according to them. And if we’re
uncertain about one DVD, they’ll be happy to pull a pirated copy out of
the drawer and sell you that one…one that they’re sure works. And when you
express doubt that you’ll make it through customs with it, they assure you
that ALL the foreigners buy at this store and they ALL buy these DVDs.

We returned to the hotel and gave the two little boys baths. And to make
sure we weren’t bored, LilDude had a good long cry with Daddy and GG had a
good long cry with first me, and later Daddy. GG has had several cries
today. He’s definitely grieving hard but doing his best to hold it
together. On the one hand, all the shopping makes it hard to get him on
any kind of schedule. On the other hand, shopping and lots of people and
new places are a good distraction. I figure there are probably only so
many tears one can effectively cry in a day anyhow. But he sure did his
fair share today. Poor little guy.

Both boys went down for the night around 7pm. LilDude was resistant about
going but went right to sleep. GG was happy to go but tossed and turned in
bed for about an hour. He finally got up by himself and walked toward the
bathroom even though it was pitch dark in there. (He is TOTALLY Mr.
Independent and won’t let you do anything for him if he can help it.) I
intercepted him, took him potty, and put him back to bed where he feel
asleep in a few minutes. So both are asleep in my bed as I type. The other
three went next door to Subway and brought me back a sandwich—slightly
pathetic as I requested one free of anything that could have been washed
in water—no lettuce, no tomato, no peppers, etc. I have enjoyed good
health so far and intend to do my best to keep it that way.

Prayer requests for good health. And the general physical, mental and
emotional stamina to make it through the next week. We love China but look
forward to coming home. It will be nice to try to find “normal”
again…whatever that is. ; ) Right now, we’re all POOPED!