Home Sweet Home

We're home at last! And what a thrill is it to be able to post straight to the blog! (Thanks, Mom, for uploading for me while we were gone.)

May 27
In the morning we hung out in our hotel room, finishing some last minute packing while Dh went to the agency mtg at the White Swan. When he was finished, we walked to lunch at the Cow/Bridge. Although it had rained some in the morning, the skies cleared for our last day in Guangzhou. We stopped at one shop, loaded our bags onto the bus and headed to the WhiteSwan to meet the rest of our group for the famous "Red Couch" photos.

After photos, the agency families as well as several other adoptive families from the White Swan boarded a bus to travel to the American Consulate. We weren't allowed to take photos there, but you're not missing much. We were basically led through a series of security checkpoints into a large waiting area. As families, we went up to the window to turn in paperwork that our guides had just handed us. Then we all (whole room full of us...maybe 15 families or more?) had to stand and swear or affirm that we'd care for these children. If I was emotional it was because this signaled that we were finally DONE with this excruciatingly long, arduous process. We were one of the only Hague families in the room; they even mentioned the fact that a Hague family was there. What an (ugh!) honor.

After the ceremony, some of our group returned to the White Swan to await morning flights out of Guangzhou. The rest of us rode a bus to the train station for a trip to HongKong. The train to HongKong took about 2 hours. We were thermo scanned going into the train station. Note to self/oldest son: don't spend the entire wait time playing with your new Chinese hacky sack toy. By the time we were ready to enter the train station, Anakin was sweating like crazy. He went to the bathroom to get some water to wash his face/legs and got through without incident.

On the train to Hong Kong, Dh talked with an Indian fellow who lived in HongKong. He recommended that we find an Indian taxi driver when we reach HongKong. He told us that their prices were reasonable and that they were trustworthy. Almost immediately upon getting through security, we were approached by an Indian man who said he would like to take us to our hotel in his van. We were thrilled as this would save us having to take two taxis (for all of us and our luggage.) We easily fit into the van and he drove us straight to the hotel, about a 30 minute drive away.

We stayed at the Novotel in Hong Kong; this is the same hotel chain as the one we stayed at in Beijing. This hotel was something else. Ultra modern rooms with glass walls between the room and bathroom with full windows looking out on a glorious view of Hong Kong. We would have loved to spend a day there but unfortunately we arrived after dark and we needed to leave the hotel by 6a.m. We were in such a rush we didn't even have time to photograph what was the funkiest hotel we'll probably ever stay at in our lives. I guess we'll just have to return some day.

May 28
This morning we took an early shuttle to the Hong Kong airport. Everyone tells me that we were thermo scanned as we entered the secure area, but I never noticed. Tells you how oblivious I am. We had a good, noneventful flight to Tokyo. We were not scanned there, although as before we did have to pass through security after de-planing and before catching our connecting flight. I can't quite figure out why we weren't scanned in Tokyo this time. I don't know if they are aware that all of us are going West and the West doesn't care about temps? Or if they are already backing off scanning? Whatever the case, it wasn't an issue.

Of course, today we had no reason to be concerned. We're all perfectly healthy. Now. When the trip is over. Cause we wanted a little excitement while on the trip. To write home about. Cause it would have been boring if we'd all been healthy. Sigh.

We generally had a great 8.5hr flight (flight to Tokyo was 4 hrs.) On the first flight GG had some trouble. He seemed to think that I should give him exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it, or he would let the other passengers on the plane know what a bad mom I was. Quite hilarious, actually. It started with the console control. He wanted to push the buttons. That would have been fine had the flight attendant call button not been on the same control pad. (What IDIOT designed a control pad in your armrest that includes a button to alert all the flight attendants and the entire cabin full of passengers every time a toddlers finger starts wandering????) So I stretched the cord as far as it would go and sat with it behind me all the way to Tokyo. If he couldn't get his way, he'd throw a mini fit and then refuse to look at us, sometimes even going so far as feigning sleep. When we'd give him blankets and pillows and show him how to lean against an armrest and get comfortable, he'd ignore us and lean harder against the unpadded armrest. You had to admire his tenacity.

When LilDude's gluten free breakfast arrived, GG insisted that he get to sample anything he wanted from the tray in any order he chose. When it was finally his turn to eat, he ate a LOT, including one adult-sized scrambled egg breakfast. (Although maybe "adult sized" in regards to plane food is an oxymoron?) Late in the flight he actually fell asleep on Dh's lap. I got a little shut eye myself.

On flight #2, GG again seemed to think he was in charge. I had one thing working in my favor...he did NOT want to sit with Daddy. So when he'd throw a little fit, all I'd have to say was "Daddy?" (as in "Would you like to sit with Daddy now?) Despite my lack of Chinese and his lack of English, we understood each other rather well. At the merest suggestion of Daddy, he'd immediately drop his fit and settle into my lap. Both he and LilDude finally slept; LilDude for about 2 hrs and GG for the last 3 hrs of the flight. And yes, he does suck his thumb when he sleeps. Very cute.

GG is definitely very concerned about staying in my proximity. On the plane when I took LilDude to the bathroom, GG became very concerned. Dh said he immediately settled down when he told him "Mommy. Potty." He is understanding some minimal words (potty!) and definitely understood what Dh told him. On the entire trip he has been very content (except when it gets hot/long) in the Ergo (baby pack). Whenever he'd see me putting it on, he'd rush straight to me, grinning, with his arms up. I think he was comforted to be kept close as we traveled about.

In the US we had to wait in the "foreigners" line to turn in GG's paperwork and go through immigration. We had a very nice immigration officer, among several nice immigration folks who welcomed us home. At customs they glanced at our declaration list and let us go through without even peeking in one bag.

We are thrilled to be home. We've slept a bit. Played a lot. And started the laundry. GG got teary eyed when I was loading photos from the trip and he saw his foster family. But it's all good. They are wonderful people and he has very good reason to cry.

Thank you all so much for your prayers! I'm continuing to post at my main blog talking about GG's adjustment. If you comment, I'll know you're still reading (hint, hint!)

Special Message

A Different Perspective or "Immense Loss: Walk A Mile in Baby's Booties"

Letter to Family and Friends

Tips for Family and Friends


We're off to HongKong and likely will not have opportunity to post until arrival home on Thursday morning.

While waiting I encourage friends and family to read the above entries from A4everfamily. Hopefully this will prepare each of us to make the transition for GG as smooth as possible.

May 26: Guangzhou, Day 4, Play Day

Another relaxing day. We woke up late, ate breakfast, and headed to the
Shaiman Park playground for our first day here without rain. It wasn’t a
big surprise to find that GG loves to play. He and LilDude delighted in
running from one piece of play equipment to another. The only difficult
thing was that he had absolutely no sense of the necessity in staying near
us. If there’d been more people, it would have been easy to lose him. He
just ran and ran. In this park, about half the “play equipment” is for
adults to exercise. We watched military guys work out alongside older
women and young couples. It was truly a gathering place for the whole
neighborhood. We also watched several couples playing badmitten, sans
nets. And probably saw 3-4 couples having wedding photos taken. We have
seen a LOT of wedding couples in China. At least one wedding was at our
hotel in Beijing. I think the Majestic hotel in Nanning had a wedding
party there each day. And here, everyone came out to have photos taken as
soon as we had a sunny day. Couples, particularly brides, are dressed
very elaborately here. Huge, gorgeous wedding dresses. One couple today
looked like they were straight out of Gone With the Wind.

After playing, we stopped at “Jordon’s”, picking up a couple more items,
including a carryon suitcase to bring a few purchases home. Jordon, the
shopkeeper, saw us on the street earlier and invited us into his store.
When Dh told him that we’d actually made purchases there on Sunday, he
apologized profusely for not being there then and invited us to come back
so he could write GG’s name in calligraphy. Jordan told Dh that he is a
Christian. He has a very good reputation amongst adoptive parents on the
internet. Today he gave me a history lesson, talking about how prior to
1977 that Guangdong, Guangxi, and Hunan provinces were all one large
province. He says that it’s not in the history books but that old folks
know about it. He said to be sure to tell GG since Guangxi is his
birthplace.

By this time we were hungry. When we discovered that the island
restaurants close at 2pm and don’t reopen until 5:30 or so, we made a deli
stop, picking up a few simple sandwiches and a California bag of potato
chips. Interesting China fare.

We enjoyed a short nap before I took the kids back to the playground and
Dh & Lizzi went to do a little last minute bargaining on a teaset
I’ve had my eye on. I hate bargaining; they love it. I, unfortunately,
fell in love with the most expensive teaset on this island. It’s the
cutest one I’ve seen, with pictures of Chinese children on it. Again,
unfortunately, it’s a “limited edition” set and they started off by
telling us it would cost 1200RMB. I couldn’t justify that much. One night
as I passed the store they begged me to come back in and look at it. Dh
wasn’t there and he had the money, but I asked if they’d take 800RMB. They
said yes. I still hoped they’d come down further today, but no dice. So I
spent my birthday money. I don’t want to get home and “wish I had.” I
don’t anticipate coming back anytime soon.

Meanwhile, over at the park, things were very busy. A nearby school let
out and big kids were playing along with parents and little kids,
grandparents with babies, and more military guys and folks working out. It
was full. I was afraid to send Dh back to the store again (he’d come
out to tell me the latest) cause I didn’t think I could safely watch both
LilDude and GG at once. So we all played a bit before making our purchase
and heading to dinner.

We tried a new restaurant that I’d heard good things about on the
internet. (It’s the Guangdong/Cantonese restaurant across from Lucy’s,
FYI.) It was delicious and we paid slightly less and received more food
than at the Cow/Bridge. The only thing that was hard to get used to?
Having servers hover around the table, constantly refilling our tea and
filling the kids’ plates. Anakin seemed to take it in stride, however,
and had his plate refilled many times.

The little boys had baths and are now in bed as I type. They both did well
today even though I’m guessing that GG may have had a mild
immunization-related fever. GG gave us a few kisses at Lizzi’s
suggestion. He also hit LilDude a few times, but often as not it was
probably provoked. We were very proud of LilDude in one instance. GG threw a notebook at LilDude’s head in such a way that LilDude would normally have reacted and hit him back. But LilDude was calm. We praised him for not decking his brother! Another thing GG did today was flirt BIG TIME with waitresses. At breakfast he called to them repeatedly so he could grin at them and say ni hao (hello). Since we were the only ones at breakfast, they really played it up, even hiding from him and peeking out. At dinner,
he caught the attention of about 3-5 more waitresses. Several came up and
talked to him in Chinese. They carried on quite the conversation. I have
no idea what they said as I don’t think the waitresses spoke English. GG
spent much of the afternoon writing in a notebook with colored pencils.
We’ve decided that he is trying to write Chinese characters. I don’t know
if he actually knows some specific characters or if he is just imitating
the look of them, but he was marking the paper very precisely.Anyone recognize this?

Tomorrow Dh has a brief agency meeting in the am and then we all head to
the Consulate from 2:45-5:30 for the adoption ceremony. Then to HongKong
by train.

May 25: Guangzhou, Day 3, Medical Exam

Breakfast began with GG very happily eating his fill…as long as he could
feed himself. I’m experiencing quite the conflict of interest. When to let
him be independent? And when to force him to rely on me, thereby working
on attachment? With eating, I’ve been leaning more and more toward letting
him feed himself because I think he’s likely to be happier if he’s full.
Especially while we’re still in China. But it is a conflict. Even though
he was in a foster family, he is used to being very independent. He would
even decide when to go to bed at night. The foster mom said that when he
was tired he would just go lay down on a bed and go to sleep. He is also
used to dragging his own bottles around to drink, at least if I can assume
that from the way the foster mom handed him one when we visited. I’ve been
doing one bottle time a day, always holding the bottle for him, but
getting zero eye contact. We were told to do several bottle feedings, but
the agency folks here told us they think the formula has sugar in it and I’m
pretty sure that he’ll get better nutrition from regular food than he will
from multiple doses of Chinese formula.

Which brings me to one of the “I didn’t know about Chinese culture” things
that I discussed with our guide today. I had no idea that the Chinese
consumed so much sugar. It’s everywhere. In everything. GG’s crackers have
a sugar coating on them. His “yogurt drink” (that we were told to give him
3x/day) tastes like pure sugar. His favorite snack drink. All the drinks
that people buy on the street. Soda pop. We haven’t seen pure juice
anywhere outside of our hotels. Our guide says that some younger parents are starting to want non-sugar items for their kids and are having to buy
expensive imports cause it’s just not locally available. Since you can’t
drink the water, people are drinking sugary drinks as an alternative. Even
the “milk” that we were given at the school (labeled “China school milk”)
tasted like someone took a glass of milk, dumped out 95% and then added
thick sugar water back in until it reached capacity. I tasted NO milk in
it. And they didn’t need refrigeration, if that says anything. Our guide
really lamented the fact that they have so few healthy choices.

But back to today…

We gathered with the rest of the agency folks for our kids’ medical exams.
We entered a “medical examination” clinic, which appears to primarily
(completely?) focus on exams for Visas. Thankfully, we were ushered
through a PACKED lobby area where Chinese nationals were waiting and into the “adoptive children” area. There, of course, arises the next conflict…
Does one let one’s child down to play with toys in the room where all the
kids from orphanages and foster homes from the entire country have
recently passed? I’ve been surprised how many parents are delighted
to take their new children to the White Swan’s “Mattel playroom”
(seriously, Mattel is the sponsor and stocked the place) when every bug in
the country (literally) has probably recently passed through that room.
We’ve been perfectly content to play in our hotel room instead!

We waited for quite a while before taking turns in 3 exam rooms:

1. ENT exam—I thought this was pretty funny. (This is for you, Lara.) An
ENT exam consists of someone looking into the child’s ears, nose, and
throat with the naked eye and an occasional glance from a flashlight. I
did hear that one cleft lip baby was actually treated to a tongue
depressor. But that was it.
2. Weigh/measure—He just stepped on a scale to be measured, height/weight. 36”, 27lbs (2 lbs more than when they weighed him in Feb!) I was glad he was big enough to stand on a scale. It didn’t look like they were changing the paper on the baby scale in between babies.
3. Medical check—a doctor took his clothes off and looked him over. It was
more intrusive than I’m used to with our pediatrician, but I complained in
advance to our guide (as I’d heard it could be worse) and she made sure
that it was kept to a minimum.

In the midst of all this GG had to go potty. I’d like to announce that I
successfully took my child potty on a squatty potty for the first time.
“Proud” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

After the three exams all the other kids and parents left.

‘Cept us.

Cause we’re special.

No, actually it’s cause we’re a HAGUE CASE. ARGH! We waited FOREVER (and they actually cut us in line) to get FOUR SHOTS so that he’d be up to date with U.S. standards. All the other kids (not up to date) got to walk right out. And we had to torture him with four. DTP, MMR (and he’d already had the measles shots!!!!), HIB, and Varicella. Nice, huh? At home I put off the other kids’ Varicella til school age. Not allowed here. By order of U.S. government. One thing that was nice, however, was that when I asked
for lot #s, they actually allowed us to take the packaging. So we have the
actual boxes and inserts his vaccines came in. Of course it’s all in
Chinese, but I could read that they were produced by Merck and by
Glaxo/Smith/Kline, so hopefully, they are comparable to what he’d get at
home??? I have no clue. But at least I can hand them to the pediatrician.

GG did very well with his shots. When our guide told him he was getting shots he said “good/okay.” He says that a lot in response to things that are
going to happen to him. He didn’t cry on the first one. The second got a
little teary. The third brought on active crying and looked painful. And
the fourth was quickly over. And the jellybellies helped to make it
easier.

After the shots we had to wait 30 minutes to make sure he didn’t react. We
had a nice chat with the agency staffers. I asked them some more about how
often they have families turn kids down (after two in the last batch.) She
said it was pretty unusual, maybe one a year. (Although at one point she
said “province” so it was a little unclear whether she meant one case in
the whole country or one case per province per year.) She said sometimes
the local province hospital doesn’t have the resources to make a correct
dx and incomplete info is sent to CCAA. Then, by the time the adoptive
parents arrive, a progressive condition looks significantly worse. In this
last batch, it sounded like that was the case for one family and in the
case of the other family they were simply unprepared for the reality of
development in a post-institutionalized child. Those are the ones that
frustrate me on several levels. They left without any child; the other
family was given a new referral.

As we were leaving the clinic, I asked our guide to tell GG we were returning
to the hotel. (Earlier, when we were forced to wait after the shots, he’d
told her that he wanted to go back to the hotel; she told him he had to
wait a while.) She asked if he was hungry. I told her to tell him we were
going to go eat. He told her, “I not hungry. I want to go to hotel and
watch t.v.” I thought that was pretty funny. Although he’s watched a tiny
bit of Chinese cartoons in the hotel, he hasn’t seemed very interested in
the t.v. unless you count pushing the remote control buttons.

We had another nice lunch at Cow & Bridge (Thai restaurant that tastes
like good Chinese food.) Then naps. Then we took a cab ride to a market
that another family suggested we visit. This is a 6 story indoor market
filled way past capacity with teeny tiny shops. Each shop holds very
specific content such as clocks, Hello Kitty stuff, key rings, hair
ornaments, etc. Shopkeepers come here to buy bulk items at wholesale
prices. So, for example, you might get one keychain for 8RMB, 10 for
6RMB/each, or 20 for 3RMB/each. The amount of stuff was dizzifying.
Sensory overload and consumerism at it’s worst! We went through several
floors and the kids and I tired of it. We aren’t very good consumers. My
back hurt from carrying a squirming GG who quickly finished the three
packages of crackers I’d brought for emergencies. So only a few hours
later it was time to find a cab. But the bulk of humanity was leaving this
place. People everywhere. Cars, buses, bikes everywhere. Full taxis
everywhere. Empty taxis nowhere. We walked up one block and down another, trying to find an empty taxi. We were very hot, tired, and sticky. We
finally found an empty taxi and were only too happy to finally sit in a
stifling hot seat and join the other bazillion vehicles inching their way
forward. At one point I was a little disconcerted to see headlights all
pointing toward us—on both sides of our vehicle. But we made it back in
one piece. Gave two boys baths. And put them to bed where they are both
laying awake as I type.

LilDude has been really struggling. Despite feeling much better and getting
enough sleep, he is pretty much constantly in a bad mood. We’ve done
everything we can think of to help him, but nothing seems to be working. I
think it’s time to take him home. Time to take all of us home! GG, in
contrast, seems to be (at least outwardly) doing pretty well. Eating is
good as long as he does it himself. Sleeping is good. He likes to giggle
and play with us. He occasionally hits one of the other kids too hard, but
we take his hand and stroke the other child and say “gentle” and he’ll
usually imitate us. Yesterday/today he started something that I hope is a
fluke. Spitting. A couple different times he looked right at me, hugely
grinned, and spit. One time it was while waiting for lunch. He was sitting
in the high chair at my elbow, gave me a super big grin and leaned over
and spit (patooey!) in my lap. So far, my tendency is to show no reaction
as I think that will probably get me farther than saying no.

Tomorrow we relax while our agency works on getting GG’s Visa at the Consulate appointment. Wednesday we have the adoption ceremony and head to the train station at 6:15 to go to Hong Kong. Then we leave very early Thursday morning from HongKong, first to Toyko, then home. Apparently, they are temp scanning at both the train station and the hotel in Hong Kong. I’m grateful for every bit of temp med we have! Shoot, just the shots alone are likely to cause a fever for GG, at least tomorrow.

Miss you all!

May 24: Guangzhou, Day 2, Shopping

What a blessedly uneventful day!

GG woke up happy around 7:15 and delighted in turning on the lights and
awaking jie-jie (older sister.) Our room was up and ready to go fairly
early, but the boys (specifically Anakin & LilDude) slept until well after
9am, giving LilDude a 14-hour night. He seemed better today with only
minimal cold symptoms and very little ear pain.

After breakfast, we decided to try our luck at shopping. Dh, in
particular, enjoyed bargaining. He searched for a chess set and wanted to
visit several shops to find the one he wanted most. This worked in his
favor as clerks would start out telling him a particular set was 320RMB
and then follow him out of the store saying it was now 150RMB. After
comparison shopping he went back to the 150 location and was told it was
200. When he reminded them that they’d said 150, they said, “Ah, good
memory” and gave him the price agreed upon.

We broke up the afternoon with naps and then shopped a bit more before
meeting the rest of the group for a good, but very expensive Italian meal.
You know you’re in trouble when a can of soda is 28RMB (or about $4 U.S.)
But the meal gave us new insights into GG’s tastes; apparently, lasagna is
on the “okay” list. He was quite disappointed to learn that his meal was
limited to what our family ordered; he was only too happy to make friends
with the people sitting opposite us when he thought their pizza looked
better than what we were having.

It’s sorta the same lesson he learned later in the day…that “just because
you hold a toy in a store doesn’t mean it’s yours.” Tonight at dinner, one
mom in our group (who also happens to have 5 kids and also adopted a
3-year-old who is only 3 days younger than GG), said that she is convinced
that shopkeepers are telling our kids to “pick up the toys you want and
tell mom and dad to get it for you,”…all in Chinese, of course. I
seriously thought one clerk must have told him that today. She followed us
around and handed him a series of toys. I had to pry several out of his
hot little hands (accompanied by screaming.) You might say, “Why didn’t
those mean parents just buy him the toys?” Hehe. You want to spend 13+
hours on a plane with a toy that sings the exact same, loud, annoying
electronic phrase in Chinese??? Hmmmm???? If so, come to China! They have
a wide variety of very loud, cheap, electronic toys to choose from.

It rained most of the day. We put away our umbrellas for the walk back to
the hotel from the restaurant. That was it for dry skies. I’m again in a
room with two boys who are supposed to be sleeping. LilDude went right to
sleep. GG has gotten up about 6 times or more. I just carry him back to
bed, give him a kiss, and say night night.

Tomorrow are medical examinations for all the kids. And SHOTS for GG. One
of the new, unfortunate realities of the Hague convention is that he must
be completely caught up on his shots in order to enter the U.S. Anyone
else find it ironic that although he is my child, I cannot control whether
or not he gets shots? If I was on U.S. soil I could. But since I’m here,
the U.S. government is forcing me to get my child shots…shots that may
very likely be substandard and will have to be redone, stateside. Hague
children are routinely having to get between two and six shots at their
appointments. Nice thing to do right before flying, dontcha think? If they
don’t already have a fever for some other reason, six shots is surely
enough to give them cause.

It was a great, uneventful day. Very thankful.

May 23: Guangzhou, Day 1, Agency Mtg. & Shopping

Day started off with LilDude awaking with an earache (a 9 on a scale of
1-10) and another fever. If he makes it through this trip with one healthy
day, we will consider ourselves fortunate. It isn’t unusual for him to get
a fever with a cold…that seems to be how his body works. But this has been
ridiculous. It’s probably a combination of factors. Stress, for sure.
Constant travel—esp the altitude involved with flying. Tons of
smog/pollution. Eating and sleeping changes. Let’s see, is there anything
else left??? ; ) I don’t regret bringing the kids at all—this has been
the trip of a lifetime and I think their presence made things easier on GG
—but the constant fight to get/stay healthy has been hard.

We put LilDude back to bed and he slept in along with GG. Everyone else but
me went down to breakfast. But when both boys woke up, I went ahead and
took them down. We had to hurry as we were to meet the other families
for a paperwork meeting at 10. The breakfast buffet is okay here. Not
like our first, awesome, buffet, but okay…especially in comparison to the
Majestic in Nanning. At least this food isn’t greasy. We feel VERY
fortunate to have booked the Victory here in Guangzhou. If you’re an
adoptive parent, you know that there is a constant debate on forums about
what’s better…Victory or White Swan? Well, for our family it was a
no-brainer as the White Swan would have doubled our cost. But we feel
fortunate anyway. Our rooms are HUGE and beautiful while we’ve heard that
the White Swan’s are small. We have free internet access (300RMB at WS) as
well as a computer in our room. We also have a reverse osmosis water
faucet in our room so we can drink the water. The only down side to our
accommodation is that we have no door between our rooms, so we do a lot of
traipsing back and forth in the hallway. I was prepared to be jealous of
the WS’s pool, but it’s too rainy/cool to swim outdoors anyway. Ever since
we’ve arrived it’s been POURING rain. Not just NW-type rain. But
DRENCHING rain. It’s not hot. Just humid/rainy. Even the rooms feel kinda
wet. It’s like you can’t escape the wet feel. I’m wondering how the
laundry I washed and hung up in the bathroom is ever going to dry. Today
we watched people hanging laundry from their apartment balconies and I
wondered the same thing. But at least it’s not terribly hot. I’d take rain over excruciating heat any day.

We met five other agency families this morning at the White Swan office to
compile paperwork. It’s the first time since Beijing that we’ve been able
to see the families that we started out with; it’s been fun to catch up
with them and see their new children. The meeting took about an hour.
About 3/4 of the way into the meeting GG started saying something to me
over and over. I finally asked the guide what he was saying.
She laughed. “He has to pee.” That’s one thing about adopting a
3-year-old…the communicating is really frustrating. “Why can’t these crazy
people understand when I talk?” We must look really pathetic to him at
times.

Another tough thing about adopting a 3-year-old? They naturally want to be
independent. And they have their own way of doing things that are already
ingrained. So when you won’t let them take a heavy, glass hotel cup full
of water and walk away, it can get a little tense, to put it mildly.

After the meeting, GG posed for a quick Visa photo and we headed back to
the hotel. We relaxed and hung out a bit before heading to a Thai
restaurant (Cow and Bridge) for lunch. We enjoyed a variety of dishes
there. Well, most of us did. Like most meals this week, GG refuses to eat
much of anything. Lately we seem to hit and miss. He’ll eat one good meal
every once-in-a-while (enough to keep him from starving.) For example,
yesterday afternoon he allowed me to feed him a bowl of congee and a
little fried rice before we left Nanning. But then nothing at breakfast
except one bite of watermelon. He did take one bottle later, but that’s
it. So by lunch, he should have been starving.

The waitress brought a basket of some kind of chips. Not sure what they
were but they tasted a little seafoody and had a spicy nip. He asked for a
chip and I gave him one. He asked for and received another. Meanwhile,
lunch arrives. He REFUSES to eat anything but chips. So today he learned
the art of compromise. I would let him eat his chip (and continue to give
him new ones) as long as I could feed him a bite of something else in
between. So one bite of chip, one bite of noodles. Another bite of chip, a
bite of veggies. At one point he spit a mouthful out; apparently, sweet
and sour sauce is NOT to his liking. From what we can tell from the foster
home, I do think he is used to a lot of sweets. So real food might be a
change. They said he’d eat anything and didn’t have anything he didn’t
like. But perhaps he didn’t have any desserts he didn’t like??? Or perhaps
he always got to do what he wanted in regards to food? Anyway, he and I
very skillfully compromised at lunch. I was proud of us both.

After lunch we joined some of the other families for a bus ride to
the pearl/jade market. Lizzi & Anakin both had fun bargaining (with
Dh’s help) for some stuff they wanted. I can’t say that I really wanted
anything. So I mostly wandered, trying to keep two very hot/humid/sticky
little boys from going nuts. I was only successful part of the time.

You might say that all of the families in our group are pooped. Just wiped
out. It feels like we’ve been constantly on the run for weeks…and now
we’re on the run with tired, grieving children that we barely know.
Tomorrow will be a much-anticipated day of rest. The only thing on the
agenda is a group meal at an Italian restaurant. All the families are
happy to have a day off. Sounds like the staff here is wiped, too.
Apparently, they just finished with a group of 19 families that included
the family that was quarantined in Beijing as well as 2 families who
didn't complete their adoptions. As you’ll recall, I mentioned earlier
that one of the families in a blog I was following decided not to bring
their daughter home. It seems to be an ever-growing phenomenon. I don’t
know why. As someone who frequently hears from families who are
disrupting, I would say that I’d prefer they not start than decide to quit
later. I wonder if the long waits for the non-special needs China program
is causing families to try to jump ahead by getting in the special needs
line and are then finding that they are ill-prepared for what awaits them.
I don’t know. The stories that I’ve heard most recently lead me to believe
that some folks are very unrealistic about what it means to adopt children who
are coming from institutional backgrounds. You don’t adopt a child from an
orphanage and expect them to be on-target, developmentally. It’s just not
realistic. I’m hearing about families who are upset because their children
aren’t speaking or walking or interacting the way “they are supposed to.”
The sad thing is that, for many of these kids, time and some work can
change a lot. It may not “cure” everything, but getting them home and into
a stimulating environment can certainly make a difference. But I don't know.
I'm certainly not in their shoes. But I've now heard of 4 of these situations
that have occurred in the last 3 weeks. That seems excessive.

After the market we went to the mall. It too was hot/sticky and I again
tried to entertain two little boys while Lizzi, Anakin, and Dh
focused on shopping for Cds. It’s funny how the clerks try to entice you.
EVERYTHING will work on our DVD players, according to them. And if we’re
uncertain about one DVD, they’ll be happy to pull a pirated copy out of
the drawer and sell you that one…one that they’re sure works. And when you
express doubt that you’ll make it through customs with it, they assure you
that ALL the foreigners buy at this store and they ALL buy these DVDs.

We returned to the hotel and gave the two little boys baths. And to make
sure we weren’t bored, LilDude had a good long cry with Daddy and GG had a
good long cry with first me, and later Daddy. GG has had several cries
today. He’s definitely grieving hard but doing his best to hold it
together. On the one hand, all the shopping makes it hard to get him on
any kind of schedule. On the other hand, shopping and lots of people and
new places are a good distraction. I figure there are probably only so
many tears one can effectively cry in a day anyhow. But he sure did his
fair share today. Poor little guy.

Both boys went down for the night around 7pm. LilDude was resistant about
going but went right to sleep. GG was happy to go but tossed and turned in
bed for about an hour. He finally got up by himself and walked toward the
bathroom even though it was pitch dark in there. (He is TOTALLY Mr.
Independent and won’t let you do anything for him if he can help it.) I
intercepted him, took him potty, and put him back to bed where he feel
asleep in a few minutes. So both are asleep in my bed as I type. The other
three went next door to Subway and brought me back a sandwich—slightly
pathetic as I requested one free of anything that could have been washed
in water—no lettuce, no tomato, no peppers, etc. I have enjoyed good
health so far and intend to do my best to keep it that way.

Prayer requests for good health. And the general physical, mental and
emotional stamina to make it through the next week. We love China but look
forward to coming home. It will be nice to try to find “normal”
again…whatever that is. ; ) Right now, we’re all POOPED!

May 22: Meeting the Foster Family

It’s actually now May 23 and I’m writing this from Guangzhou. Yesterday
was a very emotional day.

We ate the usual breakfast buffet--which we’re giving about a 2 on a scale
of 1-10. When the other adoptive families in our hotel heard that we got
to leave last night instead of this morning, they were quite jealous. The
Majestic Hotel, at least in our experience, was a 4 star lobby with 2 star
rooms and a 1-2 star breakfast. We weren’t terribly impressed. But it did
the job.

After breakfast we hopped into two taxis and headed for the foster
family’s home. To enter their apartment complex, you stop in the middle of
a block on a normal, busy Nanning street and enter a small side alley.
This alley takes you past rows and rows of apartment buildings—concrete,
with bars on the outside of windows, with one set of apartments facing
another set of apartments for several rows. In between the apartment rows
are small strips of land with concrete pedestrian areas, sorta like a long
courtyard. Some trees and greenery are also in this area, but not a lot.

As we entered this area, I was walking with Jane, carrying GG, when I
suddenly heard Dh say, “Just a minute!” behind us.
I turn around to see Anakin heaving into an area under a tree. That was
the first we knew that he didn’t feel well. He said his stomach had only
felt slightly queasy and that he was fine now. He and Dh confessed that
they’d consumed water the night before at a pizza restaurant. Apparently,
they thought it was safe because Happy (in Beijing!) told us that water in
regular restaurants was okay. They thought it applied here. Lizzi didn’t
agree and had refused to drink the water. I hadn’t gone along with the two
younger boys. So after insisting he was fine, we headed toward the foster
family’s apartment. We hadn’t gone more than a few steps when a young
woman ran up to GG (whom I was holding in the Ergo) and started talking to
him and to Jane. GG started crying and reaching for her. She started
crying. They put their heads together and cried, all while I was holding
him. She was obviously very, very smitten by him. In talking with her,
Jane figured out that she was the girlfriend of the 3rd boy in the foster
family.

We learned that the foster family has four adult children, one girl and
three boys. They were born before the one child policy. It was a little
unclear to me exactly who lived in the apartment, but I think the foster
parents (ages 66 & 63), a daughter-in-law and granddaughter (this son
works in Guangdong and only comes home 2x/year), and perhaps another
unmarried son and daughter?

We climbed a LOT of stairs to reach their home on the sixth floor. We
were greeted by the foster father, 66, who seemed like a really nice,
easy-going fellow. The girlfriend of the son came along and we also met
the daughter-in-law and the granddaughter. At first I couldn’t figure out
where the foster mom was, but we soon learned that she was in the bedroom,
feeding a new foster baby.

As soon as we entered the small, central living area, we were offered a
chair and snacks. (Lychee, soft drinks, candy, crackers.) GG immediately
started bawling, hard. Someone told me to let him out of the Ergo (can’t
even recall at this point who it was, maybe Jane?) and he started running
around from person to person, crying. He was obviously VERY attached to
this entire, loving family. They took turns holding him, wiping his tears,
pacifying him with treat after treat after treat. (At some point Jane said that he was going to get sick from so much sugar.) He ran into the bedroom
in search of “granny.” I finally followed, to find Granny (fmom) sitting
on the edge of the bed, holding him, tears streaming down both their
faces. I put my arm around her and gave her a little hug, but it was all
she could do to even notice my presence as she was so focused on GG’s
pain. She held him and stroked him. And then she told him—several
times—that I am his momma (she actually said “biological mom” which made
Jane laugh), and that Dh is his “biological” dad and that we are his
family now. Oooooohhhhh, did that ever set him off. He’d scream an
ear-piercing scream, kick, and protest with everything he was worth. He’d
scream, “I want sleep with Granny!!!!”

This routine went on for quite some time. He was quite upset. They’d
console him with treats or take turns having him sit on their laps and
then they’d tell him that we are his family and he’d freak out again.

As if we didn’t have enough action, our attention suddenly turns to
Anakin who is heaving all over the foster family’s floor and his own
clothes. GG’s pain is temporarily put on hold as they try to get Anakin
and their small home cleaned up. Out with the mop, Anakin to the kitchen
to wipe down his shirt… They suggest he take a shower and put on their
clothes, but he is white and pale and in bad shape. I propose that Dh
take Anakin and LilDude back to the hotel in a taxi while Jane stays with
Lizzi and I and GG to finish the visit. They head to the door, get as
far as the outside doorstep, and Anakin loses it again. There is much
discussion, concern about how he is going to make it back to the hotel.
At last they are on their way and Jane returns so I can ask the foster mom
some more questions about GG’s life.

I interviewed her for quite awhile and although I didn’t feel like I
learned a lot I didn’t know, it was VERY helpful to watch them interact
with him. They are obviously a very, very loving family and he was very
well cared for. It breaks their hearts to lose him. I did learn one thing
that breaks my heart (as if all the other stuff didn’t already!)
Apparently, GG received our family photo album last October. After getting
the album, he would ask to call me on the phone. He understood that he was
going to our family in the U.S. and was waiting for us to come get him.
When we didn’t come, he told the foster mom, “Maybe they don’t want me.”
Someone needs to do something to make sure this doesn’t happen to other
kids. The foster family, like Jane and the orphanage, thought that we
weren’t coming because we didn’t want to. They thought we were in control.
So, for obviously reasons, I don’t think their opinion of us is terribly
high. Jane tried to explain, but it was apparent that the foster mom
didn’t understand what she was saying. And certainly GG wouldn’t. Breaks
my heart to know he thought we didn’t want him.

Another thing that was good for us was to see how he behaved in his
natural environment. He had several mini-tantrums when we were there
(understandable, of course!), screaming ear-piercing screams and very
unset. But they seemed to think that this is normal. That he is usually a
happy, easy-going guy (as we’ve noticed) but that he also has very SHORT
periods of stubbornness/tantrums. But they all said he gets over this
very quickly which is what I saw there and what I’ve observed.

A couple times when the fmom told him that we were his parents now, I was
close enough that I got half-kicked by him or had something sorta thrown
in my direction. They chastised him (I thought in a very appropriate
way—not mean, but telling him that this wasn’t okay.) To me, it all looked
like a very good environment.

I saw no toys in the home. It was quite simple with a couple of bedrooms
containing a large bed with just a mat (bamboo slats?) on the bed—no
mattresses. The bathroom had one tiny area with a squatty potty and one
tiny area with a shower head—all concrete for easy cleaning. The kitchen
was a small galley with a sink, rice cooker, and a couple burners. I
didn’t notice a kitchen table, but it may have been put away for our
visit. They had a tiny, barred in balcony, which held a shelf of clothes
and was edged by a clothesline where clothes hung to dry. They had a
good-sized t.v. and said that he loved to change channels. We are thankful
that the girlfriend has a computer with an email address and we were able
to send her photos and begin communication already. That’s quite
thrilling.

After a couple of hours, GG had settled down, although both he and the
foster mom had occasional teary eyes. The foster dad left to go somewhere.
I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and I was concerned about
Anakin. Knowing we had to board an airplane later in the day didn’t help.
So I made moves to go. They would have liked to do lunch with us, but I
was spent. I think we all were. When Jane reminded them about Anakin,
they understood. When it looked like we were leaving GG started to cry,
but then we all headed out to the street, the foster mom and GG leading
the way. She held his hand until the cab came. Then Lizzi and I got in
and Jane put him in my lap. The foster mom, daughter-in-law, and
granddaughter, all gathered at the window to say goodbye. The fmom had
tears in her eyes. So did I. GG didn’t. He was okay. He was quiet,
contemplative, looking out the window all the way back to the hotel.

For the remainder of the day, we saw a happy, relaxed, joyful boy. More
than we have at any other time this week. And, for the first time, he
allowed Dh to actively play with him without me and feed him a couple
of bite of apple. This was major progress.

Other adoptive families have told me that if/when they were able to visit
the foster home, this was when they had their first major steps forward.
That, although it’s painful, it’s healthy for the child to see the foster
parents interact with the adoptive parents and hear the fparents say,
“This is your family.”

Yesterday was extremely difficult, but it feels like we’ve reached a
better place with GG.

Late in the afternoon, our family went to a restaurant for lunch. When I
stepped out to take LilDude to the bathroom, Lizzi and Dh said GG
became quite worried, looking for me and calling for me. I don’t begin to
mistake this for attachment. But it’s a step.

Anakin took a long nap in the hotel room. We were also able to give him
one dose of a prescription anti-nausea medication. This isn’t something we
would have done at home, but considering the flight later in the day, we
felt it necessary. He woke up feeling fine and was very bummed that we’d
only allow him to eat white rice at dinner.

We had a good flight to Guangzhou, save for LilDude throwing up on his
shorts. Luckily, I had extras for GG that still managed to fit LilDude. This
trip has taught us that LilDude gets motion sick in planes. Oh, and speaking
of being sick…

On the way to the airport, Jane said how good it was that none of us had
gotten fevers during the past week and how, if we had, it would have
delayed our travel on to Guangzhou. This week we have heard a lot about
how things work during this “special time.” So thank the dear Lord that
she never asked us, we never had to tell, and everyone got over it fairly
quickly. Your prayers are working. She also went on to say that we are her
LAST family for a while. No more families are coming because of the
“special time” for at least a month. So we barely made it through.

L (my friend who is traveling soon), the one thing I have not
regretted taking is medicine. We will likely come close to finishing both
a bottle of children’s Tylenol and motrin. You might consider taking
extra. : ) And we’ve taken tons of vitamins and cold meds. Good luck and
safe travels!

May 21: Nanning Village & School

What an incredible day! Jane really went out of her way to make this day
memorable!

We began the morning by boarding a van to the countryside. On the way, we
stopped at GG’s “finding place.” This is the spot where he was left as a
2-day-old infant (estimate.) We knew the spot was under an overpass, but I
couldn’t have imagined this in my wildest dreams. Picture a MAJOR
intersection, so major that Jane didn’t want us to cross the street to go
to the spot where we all guessed that the finding spot probably was. An
overpass is directly above this intersection where two lanes of traffic
come from multiple directions. Buses, cars, bikes, motorcycles all
converging in a noisy, polluted mass of humanity. It’s the last place in
the world one could fathom leaving a 2-day-old infant. Jane said the
converging roads are from the city and country and since she guesses that
his biological parents were from the country, she thinks that they may
have picked this spot because they could drive in from the country and
leave quickly without being seen. It’s illegal to give a child up for
adoption or to abandon a child in China, so people have to do it quickly
and in secret. With all the people around, they probably guessed that he’d
soon be found. However, most people are across the street from the
overpass that he was found beneath and the noise is so loud that I don’t
know how long it might have taken to hear a baby cry. It was very sad to
see the spot and know that our sweet boy was left here.

We continued on our journey to the countryside, passing interesting rock
structures/mountains that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. In the distance
we could see mountains that she said were part of Guilin, a major scenic
beauty area. We passed agricultural fields where small crops grew
intermingled in the fields. Corn, rice, peanuts, mango trees and other
items. She said pineapple is a major crop as well. We approached the edge
of a village where we got out and watched women doing the wash on the edge
of the water. On one side they had water pouring from wells; a few women
stood in a large concrete area that then held the water. Jane said the
water there is recycled. But across the path, women were washing in a
larger body of water…perhaps a large pond or something? I didn’t see the
source. In contrast with the people in Nanning, theses women were very
friendly, laughing and smiling with us. And very happy to have photos
taken. We met several older women who were pounding wash alongside younger
counterparts. One woman proudly told us she was 80. She was in better
shape than me. Jane explained that everyone continues working into old
age; that they would feel useless if they couldn’t work. She said that
this task is also fun for them—not hard work—and that they enjoy gathering
for social time with their neighbors.

As we walked into the village, she explained that the folks here were
mostly related. That just a few families make up the people in the
village. We visited one home where the parents live with their three adult
children, including a daughter-in-law and her new eight-day-old baby. We
spent some time chatting with the new mom as well as one of the daughters.
We asked how they were able to have three children. For this country
family, two children was okay. (I believe that if a girl comes first, they
are allowed a try for a boy…at least that’s what they said regarding the
new baby…since he’s a boy, they won’t be allowed to have another.) But
since this family had three children, they had to pay a fine. We asked how
much the fine is now. They said it’s 40,000RMB. To figure it out: 6.8RMB =
$1 US, so do the math. I was shocked. That’s a lot even in the U.S. They
had just explained to us how they’d build this beautiful addition onto the
house (it was really like a house in itself with at least three bedrooms,
a kitchen, bathroom, etc.) for $50,000RMB. Then they’d decorated it for an
additional $30,000RMB. So an extra child is fined at about the same rate
as that of a new, fairly substantial house.

After talking with the family, we handed out “Smarties” (little candies)
to villagers. They were thrilled with just one Smartie each. THRILLED!
During this time, I was carrying GG in the frontpack (Ergo) and taught him
to hand people candy. He seems to be very content in the Ergo. At this
point, he is fairly okay with me and very upset if Dh tries to take
him. Upset enough that he’ll hit at Dh and scream.

We returned to the hotel, ate lunch, and took naps. GG napped for the
first time, but we had to awaken him in order to make our next
appointment. He does not like being woken up. Loves his sleep.

At 3:30 Jane put us into cabs and we headed to a local school. This
primary school, grades 1-6, has well over 1,000 students. I’m thinking
they said 1,800? We were not prepared for the reception we got.

Picture a huge courtyard (HUGE) with many basketball courts and wide open
areas to play. On two sides of the courtyard is a six (?) story building
with about six or so classrooms across each floor. Each classroom holds
one teacher and (teachers, hold onto your hats!!!!) about 54 students.
THAT’S RIGHT! 54 students!!!!!!! Per ONE teacher!!!! Including in the
lowest grades. (1st graders begin school at age 7.) Not only that, but
they go to school from about 8am til about 5:30 pm. They go home for lunch
in the middle of the day…maybe for 90 minutes?

We entered just as students were let out for recess. We were MOBBED!!!!!
EVERYONE wanted to come see us and say hi and practice their English. They
were VERY friendly. They asked our names, where we were from, how old we
are, etc… And I do mean MOBBED. Dh picked LilDude up so he wouldn’t be
trampled. LilDude was very anxious through the whole ordeal. GG just took it
all in. Don’t know if he is used to mobs, but nothing about this seemed to
bother him in the least as long as I gave him the snacks he wanted.

After the mob returned to their classes, the Director gave us a tour,
highlighting the important things about the school. Several other people
tagged along—an English teacher, an assistant director, etc. They were
just as thrilled to see us as the kids. They wanted photos and photos and
photos of us. We were shown photos on a permanent display of visitors from
other countries, so were guessing that we’re now going to be the token
Americans on the board.

Next, we headed to a classroom. We climbed six or so flights of stairs and
visited a sixth grade classroom of 54 students. It was organized chaos.
Rather than having students stay in their seats to ask questions, they
brought small groups to the front of the room and had Lizzi & Anakin
answer only a few questions at once while the rest of the class talked
loudly and stared. LilDude was panicky by now and wanted to stand outside
the door. Couldn’t blame him as we’d been mobbed since the moment we
arrived. Jane pulled me over to another group of students so that I could
answer more questions as the kids answered up front. At one point they
asked how much P.E. the kids get each week. When I said that next year we
have no P.E. in K-5 because there isn’t enough money, Jane refused to tell
them that because she said she didn’t want the kids to think badly of
America. We were asked to pose for a few bazillion photos. This went on
for a long time. Several kids recited poetry. They asked for our email
addresses and about 54 kids wrote them down. Much later, we passed out
lollypops and then one child after another approached Lizzi and/or
Anakin bringing them gifts—often a favorite possession. A favorite pen
that was used in successfully completing examinations, an NBA Kobe Bryant
keychain, Chinese comic books, magazines, textbooks, stuffed animals. It
was endless. Several girls were focusing on Anakin. And a group of
giggling girls approached Lizzi and handed her a gorgeous jade cross.
She thanked them and they just laughed and pointed at a boy, surrounded by
two buddies, who were making a quick getaway. Lizzi never learned which
boy actually gave it to her.

We returned to the courtyard where more kids were at recess. Then it
became a papparatzi free-for-all. We were mightily mobbed by kids wanting
our autographs. I finally took LilDude and GG to a quiet corner while the
other three continued to sign autographs. It was a little out of control.
At some point Lizzi said the English teacher told the students “no
more”…and not in a nice way. Later, a sweet little girl approached me to
ask me something. The lady yelled at her to go away. The little girl
backed off like she’d been bitten. Guess that’s how things work.

Anakin was then sent out to the basketball court to play a five-on-five
game with a ref and Adidas pennies and the whole bit. Then played and
played. We continued to give autographs and pose for photos. This went on
and on and on.

When it was time to leave, I spotted three little girls in beautiful,
pink, traditional costumes. I asked if we could take their photos. Well,
of course we could…in a “5 minute” presentation upstairs. So we climbed to
the sixth floor again and watched a music/dance/poetry/gymnastics
presentation by a class of girls. It was truly splendid. But I was getting
a little concerned (a lot?) about LilDude who was totally stressed out and
hadn’t had anything to drink through this whole ordeal…now well over 2.5
hours long. We again posed for a myriad of photos with this class. I
believe we left a little after 6pm…we’d arrived a little after 3:30.

It was an incredible experience that none of us will ever forget. They
loved us. With celebrity status. Lizzi said this was the best tour of
the trip, right up there next to the Great Wall.

We won’t forget you, China schoolchildren!

P.S. Our health continues to improve, I think. GG is doing better and
better. It might be TMI (too much information), but you joined the blog
for the “good, bad, and ugly,” so it’s your own fault. ; ) I was quite
pleased to be awakened at 1am so GG could have a bm. This is the first
since we met him and obviously a necessary hurdle to cross. I think it’s
pretty usual to get constipated from stress and we were glad to check one
thing off the list.

Pray for all of us tomorrow. In the morning we meet the foster family.
This is something that we greatly desire for his sake now and in the
future, but it may be very hard on him. Although I can say that the
families I know who’ve done it have said that meeting the foster family
was often a positive turning point. Jane laughed and laughed when she told
us how thrilled they are to meet us. She called yesterday to arrange the
appointment and they were ECSTATIC. Apparently, no other families have
visited and they care so much about GG and want BADLY to see us. They
repeatedly called her asking how they could prepare for us, wanting to
know if his siblings were coming, etc. They called at 10pm and again at
7:30am. They spent today cleaning the house in preparation. They wanted us
tonight and all day tomorrow. That would have been fine with us, but Jane
said no. I think she wants a life. ; )

So prayers are appreciated that this is a good thing for him…and for them.
If you think of any must-know things that I should ask them, send them
quick!

May 20:Nanning, Day 3

First, thank you all for your continued prayers and support! LilDude woke up
with a slight fever and a cough, but throughout the day he continued to
get better and better. I think his fever is gone at the moment. Anakin’s
cough is definitely better too.

We had another good night of sleep. GG sleeps spread-eagle, occasionally
sucking his thumb. So cute. He is sleeping through the night without any
issues. He awakens the saddest that we see him during the day. Although he
is definitely sad, it may also be partly because he’s sleepy and not
getting adequate rest. He isn’t napping although his paperwork says he
naps 3 hours a day. We always have to wake him up in the morning, so I
think he’s tired. At breakfast he again refused to eat. Also refused to
look at any of us. Then, suddenly, he reached for my fork and stabbed
himself a hunk of noodles off my plate. He fed himself several bites and
took a few gulps of hot milk. Then he was done. Back to looking away from
all of us as we ate. If you’d offer him something or try to look at him,
he’d turn his head away from you just like when you use the wrong side of
a magnet to push something away. If you’re anywhere close to him and try
to get eye contact, he avoids your eyes like they’re poisonous. We have a
little work to do.

As a side note, I cannot fathom how people do this kind of thing with a
first child. This is hard, hard work. We really struggled with LilDude’s
trauma, but he didn’t outright reject us from the first moment. We can
handle GG’s reaction because we understand it and have had enough
experience to know how to help him, but even so, this is painfully
hard—mostly for him, but also for us. I can’t imagine dreaming of a first
child only to have that child sob and scream that he wants his mom…and
that mom isn’t you. This is not what most people dream of when they
imagine becoming parents for the first time. I think of you, Kathie (our
SW), and try to imagine how you communicate to parents that this may be
their reality. Today Jane was telling me about one of the hardest
situations she’s ever dealt with—in a boy just slightly younger than GG
who was very spoiled and attached to his foster mom and was going home to
young, first time parents. The child refused to eat for about four or five
days, if I recall. She talked about how terribly hard the week was on the
parents, particularly the mom. I just can’t imagine.

But back to the day…
We met Jane at 9:30 for a trip to Green Mountain Park. On the way to the
park I was able to ask her a few more questions. One that some of you have
asked me is whether his foster family could have adopted him if they’d
wanted to. The answer was emphatically no. And she said they never asked.
The foster mom, who has fostered 3 other kids prior to GG, is now about
50, her husband about 60. When I asked if they would foster more kids,
Jane said that the foster mom was getting too old to foster. Yikes. I
asked if perhaps the son/daughter-in-law wanted to adopt him. They have a
daughter only a year or so older than GG and the two are playmates. She
again said no, that they wouldn’t be allowed to do a domestic adoption of
any kind even if they wanted to. Why? Because they don’t have enough
money, resources, education, etc, so they would not be considered for any
kind of adoption. Only families with more resources would be considered.
Sad.

Jane said the fmom is very caring and patient, but she is uneducated and
“not very imaginative” which, as I understood it, meant that she didn’t do
things like singing or reading with him. She mostly went about her daily
work and cared for him in a loving way but didn’t know to do more with
him. Jane did say, however, that the fmom took GG outside to play EVERYDAY
because he loved being outside so much. It seems that he is used to eating
a lot of sweet goodies, which I guess children, especially boys, are often
spoiled with. We were given special drinks and crackers for him. One of
the drinks even came with explicit instructions about how much he was to
get, when. I talked to Doris (thanks!), my friend who lived in China. She
said that the drink is sugar. And we were told that he must have one
bottle of this a day, drinking three times spread out across the day.
After talking to Doris, I took that off my list of “mandatory food items.”
At the park we walked around, viewing “green”—trees, bushes, flowers,
etc.—all things that have been fairly absent on our trip. Last night it
dumped rain, bringing to the surface the most humongous worms we’ve ever
seen. We also observed a few teeny tiny frogs. When we tell Jane that we
have frogs at home, she is fascinated, not fully understanding how we
could have things like frogs, possums, skunks, and other wild things
around our property. We photographed the kids with statues of the animals
that represented the year they were born. GG abandoned his dog in
favor of riding with LilDude on his horse statute.

After we got back to the hotel we attempted to eat at the restaurant next
door. They were closed. So we hopped into a cab (7 yuan = $1) and got a
ride to the mall/Wal-Mart. We found a Japanese restaurant and had a
delicious lunch. We each got our own small bowl to eat from; GG ate the
best he’s eaten all week. He made an attempt to use chopsticks (not bad!),
but settled on an Asian spoon. He shoveled in quite a bit of rice. I was
told that he must not have anything spicy, but I’m convinced that he’s had
a lot of it at home as I offered him a chunk of spicy cucumber and he
wanted more and more and more. He loved it. He was pretty happy for a
while after that.

We looked around the mall. Lizzi and I were surprised when clerks kept
assuming we spoke Chinese. When we’d tell them we only spoke English,
they’d get embarrassed and talk to one another about it. We got lots of
smiles from clerks. But continued sour stares from the majority of people
on the street. Very different from Beijing.

We went to Wal-mart (hate that, but what’s a person to do? “When in China
do as the Chinese” and when at home go back to boycotting?? At least I’m
buying local as everything is made in China!), and bought him and LilDude
matching Spiderman sandals that light up when they walk. GG in particular
was thrilled with that idea. We also bought him tennis shoes as he has
none. And new shorts outfits for both little boys. We choose several
Chinese children’s Cds for just over $1 each and a couple little picture
books with Chinese and English words. The boys enjoyed riding together in
the shopping cart although poor LilDude was fairly squished as the shopping
carts are little.

We all did great until GG’s lack of sleep/naps suddenly caught up with
him. He was suddenly a crying, screaming, writhing mass of boy. As quickly
as we could, we headed to the check-out and caught a cab home.
It seemed like he was in very big need of a good cry. He’s been holding
things in ever since the first night. And he’s been avoiding Mommy and
Daddy as much as possible, focusing on playing with LilDude. The play is
good, but it also means that he hasn’t spent any time letting himself
relax and grieve in the safe arms of an adult. So when we got home I made
him a bottle and sat down for some quiet time. I held him in my arms and
turned the bottle so he was facing me. Man-o-man, did that ever set him
off. He DID NOT want to look at me. I held him as he screamed in Chinese.
I think he was screaming that he wanted his foster mom. He had a good long
cry/scream session. By the end he was relaxed and would look into my eyes
and “talk” to me about his sads. He talked and talked and wept huge tears.
Lots and lots of tears. I just held him and whispered in his ear and
stroked his face. After he relaxed, he finished most of the bottle, had a
bath and got a massage with lotion, and went to bed. Hopefully he can get
a little more sleep tonight. I’ve been grateful for the two rooms so one
can be a sleeping place while the other is an awake room.
I’ve been typing this in the dark in his room. He did just wake up quietly
crying, which is new. He allowed me to hold him and pat his back and put
him in bed.

Tomorrow we visit a village outside Nanning, including one family’s home.
Jane is also trying to arrange for us to see a school but she said since
this is “special time” (her phrase for the Swine flu issue) that we may or
may not be able to. On the way to the countryside we’re also supposed to
stop to see GG’s “finding place,” the spot where he was left as an infant.
Continued prayers for good health and GG’s adjustment are appreciated!
Love you all!

May 19: Nanning, Day 2

Our night was pretty much perfect. He slept with me and sat up a couple of times,
but I just lay him back down next to his HUGE Dora the Explorer doll (that
he came with) and he went right back to sleep. Although I know this wasn't
on purpose, he did have one hand on my shoulder for much of the night
which tells me he was at least fairly relaxed. We're now getting ready in
the dark around him and he hasn't budged.
He ate 2 crackers last night that his fmom sent, but that's it. Please
pray that he'll be able to eat/drink with us soon.
Longer post later. We have an appointment with the officials this morning.
Pray that my coughing family doesn't feel the need to cough. Jane
emphasized yesterday how illness could halt the Visa process.

May 19: Nanning, Continued

This morning we tried the Majestic breakfast buffet for the first time.
It’s fine. Not something I’d rave about, but we all found plenty to eat.
Although Anakin says that it’s hard to find Chinese food to eat here
because it’s all so strange that he’s not sure what he’s eating. I’ve
liked the food here okay, but what we’ve had so far has been fairly oily.
By far my favorite was the first restaurant Happy took us to in Beijing.
(Probably more than you wanted to know, but Teddi will care. And,
Teddi, where is the restaurant area that you raved about? Is it the “Baby”
place next door to the left? And how far is the “Nanning Department
Store?” If we ever get out of our hotel rooms, we’d like to visit.)

Back to the comment, “We all found plenty to eat.” Well, GG, not so much.
He did take a cup of warm milk from me. And one bite of congee. But that
was it. I offered him lots of other stuff, even pointing out various
things in the buffet. He adamantly shook his head. And if you don’t
already know this, YOU CANNOT FORCE A 3-year-old TO EAT OR DRINK IF HE
DOESN’T WANT TO. Bummer. But at least he drank something…which was an
improvement over yesterday. Jane suggested we put a variety of things out
for him to graze on. So we put out his crackers. He ate about 1/2 of two.
(Those are the sugar coated ones that I think you mentioned, Sue. They
came with him.) We also tried bits of dried fruit. He ate one piece of
dried kiwi. He’s also willing to drink some kind of drink that the fmom
sent with him. She sent crackers, several drinks, and some sort of gummy
thing in a little plastic container that Jane says is basically candy that
is choky that the fmom’s aren’t supposed to give the kids. He’s eaten a
little of this stuff, but not even much of that. Oh, and the fmom sent
apples. He won’t touch them. He did eat one slice of orange, stuffing it
all in his mouth. I don’t think he’s used to eating more than baby bites
of anything. So anyway, we’re trying everything and I basically think
he’ll eat when he wants to eat. And probably not before. He’s more or
less hunger striking.

After breakfast, Dh and I took GG back to the orphanage hotel
office. The other 3 kids stayed at the hotel room as we knew the meetings
would be short and both LilDude & Anakin were coughing so much that we
were afraid we’d get in trouble. Oh, and we also discovered that LilDude had
a fever and hoped a morning of rest would do him good.

We had two short meetings…one at the orphanage hotel office and one at a
notary, both where we had to verify a few short questions. “Do you want
this boy?” “Will you promise not to abuse him?” Etc. No biggie. We gave
the orphanage the dresses you made, Mom. They gave us a gift. A purse-like
item. A book/brochure on the orphanage. And PHOTOS OF GG FROM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE. Including BABY PHOTOS!

After the meetings, we hung out in the hotel room with coughing kids. When
LilDude’s fever started to rise, we made every effort we could to keep him
and GG apart, but under the circumstances, that’s near to impossible. Yes,
we did bring cough meds. And Ibuprofen/Tylenol. And a bazillion cold meds
and vitamins (C, D, echn/golden seal, zinc/coldease). We’re loading
everyone up. Not sure if it’s doing any good, but we’re trying. I stopped
LilDude from drinking anything cold, Doris. Any other ideas?? I need a
magic pill.

By the afternoon, LilDude’s fever had gone up quite a bit and he continued
to have one even on Ibuprofen. But he doesn’t feel sick. That’s his style.
And he’s even stopped coughing. He sounds a little congested, but nothing
hurts.

Anyway, another “rule” is that GG naps from 1-3 pm. Yeah, right. I lay
down with him. He tried to get up. I pulled him back. He complained. We
compromised at him staying in bed with me…but with him sitting up. He sat
against the wall, holding Dora, and looking at Liz/Anakin who were playing
Nintendo/doing computer. I finally caught him falling over, asleep, and
lay him down. Then Liz/Anakin woke him up by whispered arguing over who was to
use which electronic gizmo next. So he had about a ten minute nap. But a
long rest. LilDude napped too. So maybe no nap but an early bedtime for
everyone??

After naps, Dh and I took GG on a walk outside. We went to the park
(behind hotel for you Nanning folks) and watched people feed these
humongous fish. They’d throw fish food and fish would rise to the surface,
smacking one another in an attempt to get their share. GG climbed right up
the side of the rail to watch. Probably would have jumped in if I hadn’t
stopped him. This kid is so much like some other boys I know. Right
down to taking the 4 building block pieces he brought with him and putting
them together into the shape of a gun and making pewww, pewww, noises. He
LOVES throwing balls. Likes little cars.

This afternoon, he spent more than an hour with color crayons, using EVERY
PIECE OF PAPER IN THE PAD I brought. Lizzi thought he’d probably not
done this very often. He makes tiny little marks. His fine hand
coordination is remarkable. He loves to fold the papers. He watched
Lizzi make a paper hat; then he unfolded the paper and redid what she’d
done. (Just now he handed Lizzi a crayon and beckoned her over for more
coloring.) He copies everything from the faces LilDude makes to the words
people say. Lizzi was showing him photos in the book I made and having
him repeat who each person was. Before long, he was telling us on his own.
When we Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa he could imitate us in saying
NiHao to “Grandma” and “Grandpa.” He also Skyped with BigSis. He can
easily imitate anything we say in English. It might be Mommy prejudice but
I think he seems very, very smart.

After the park, LilDude (yes, with a fever) and GG played and played and
played ball with Dh. Running and screaming, screaming, screaming. GG
LOVES playing with LilDude. They’d attack Dh with balls, then run into
the room’s foyer and “hide.” This kid giggles and giggles and giggles.
Very good natured. And super eager to learn. He has shown an obsession
with our room card key, which, unfortunately, is used to turn on lights.
So he can’t have it. He thought about crying over it a few times, but he’s
been pretty easily distracted.

Because of LilDude’s fever, we felt forced to cancel our scheduled trip to
Wal-Mart. We looked forward to going (shopping, not to Wal-mart), but we
didn’t feel like we could take LilDude out and we didn’t really want to
split up the group this soon. Tomorrow we are supposed to visit the Green
Mountains, a local country/beauty site, about 45 minutes away. Unless
LilDude is a lot worse, I think we’ll probably drug him up and go. I hate to
waste our entire time in Nanning in a hotel room. I really don’t think
LilDude is contagious. He seems to do this when he has a cold, just his
body’s way of reacting. I can hope he’s not contagious since GG getting
this may mean a problem getting his Visa on time. Prayer is appreciated.
GG does have a slightly runny nose, but it’s been there since we got him.
It’d be nice if he’d eat to keep his energy up. I did FINALLY get him to
take a 4 oz bottle this afternoon. I just held him and wouldn’t let him up
til he drank it. He actually got compliant rather fast and without a lot
of complaint.

A comment on Nanning… We’ve seen a few friendly folk, but a lot of people
stare at us on the street without smiling. I don’t know if they mean to be
unfriendly or if they are so perplexed by us that they can’t smile back.
It does feel a little odd to be out walking around. Definitely different
than Beijing. I wish we had more time to walk around though. I hate being
cooped up in a hotel room when an adventure is outside the window.It feels
like we’re wasting our time here. But I know this is an adoption trip, not
a vacation. We may just have to return!

Jane said that she’d try to schedule an appointment for us to visit a
local school. We thought that would be especially neat for Liz/Anakin. We visit
Green Mts tomorrow and a local village on Thursday.

That’s it from Nanning. Continued prayers for good health and good
transitions are appreciated.

Update at bedtime:
GG ATE! I fed him a cup full of fake congee…otherwise known as instant
grits. I read on an adoptive family forum that instant grits are close to
congee so I picked up some in Atlanta and brought it to China. He ate a
whole packet. Praise the Lord! He also ate apple pieces and drank water.
Hallelujah.

And praise #2! LilDude seems much better tonight with little to no temp. His
med should be wearing off, so I’m hoping this means he’s really better. If
so, that means that the way to get LilDude well is to let him jump from bed
to bed with GG and get really hot and sweaty while playing for an hour or
so. All while screaming and laughing.

May 18: Nanning and GG!

We made it safely to Nanning. We meet our sweetie in an hour. Some of you
are going to REALLY, REALLY LAUGH, but the Holt rep, Jane, says that he is
VERY spoiled and will have a sit-on-the-floor, kicking & crying temper
tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. Apparently, the foster mom has
conditioned this and gives in to his every desire. But he's always happy
and is very easy. LOL. Jane told us that for this week, she wants us to
ALSO GIVE IN TO HIS EVERY DESIRE. Should be interesting... We already
stashed all the medications and candy. Not really wanting to give him all
that he wants of those items.

When I asked about meeting the foster family she said that we could only
see them if the bonding looked good by late in the week. By the end of the
van ride, I convinced her that it's important no matter what...that he
needs to hear the foster mom tell him that we are his family now. Even if
it's hard in the moment. She acted like it's okay now and that she'd put a
short Friday a.m. meeting with the ffamily on her schedule.

Hopefully I'll be able to write more tonight. Wish us luck!

Oh, and btw, I think this is sad...

Jane asked us why it took us so long to come for him...that the orphanage
has been asking her on a regular basis for the past year "why isn't his
family coming?" They thought it was somehow in our control and our fault
that we weren't coming for him. I tried to explain Hague, but I don't know
that she really understood. It would be nice if agencies could communicate that arrivals from everyone, but especially arrivals from Hague families, are totally beyond our control. We tried to tell her we would have come a year ago had we been
allowed to.

Later...
Wow, do I have a lot to catch up on.
We left EARLY for the Beijing airport. Gorgeous terminal. Happy whisked us
through check-in. We boarded an Air China flight to Nanning, about a 3.5
hr. trip. I thought we were the only non-Chinese on the plane, but Dh
informs me that there was one Anglo guy in the front. We took up 5 of 6
seats in our row. Lizzi & Anakin were on the one side with a Chinese
man. Very soon after he boarded, a flight attendant moved him. We weren’t
sure if he asked to move. But not long after he was back. The plane was
full.

For breakfast we had a choice of congee (rice gruel) or eggs (slimy in
middle)/ hashbrowns (soggy)/hotdog-looking sausage. Not impressed. The
flight attendants seemed to also be a tad less experienced than we’re used
to. We heard several loud crashes in the galley. During one crash I was
waiting to take LilDude to the bathroom and saw a teapot land on the floor,
splashing hot water everywhere. The flight was also fairly turbulent and I
was surprised when they continued to serve scalding hot beverages, despite
the fact that the teapots were held over people’s heads. I hoped that this
wasn’t indicative of the pilot’s experience. As we landed, we seemed to
hover over the runway for a long time before touching down. When we
stopped, we had to turn around on the runway and head back a few hundred
yards to the taxiway.

We collected our luggage and were met by Jane, the Holt representative in
Nanning. She’s worked with Holt here for nine years. On the drive to the
hotel she told us a lot more about GG. When I
asked about visiting the foster family she initially said that we couldn’t
unless the bonding was going really well by the end of the week. But at
some point I was able to say that I hoped to visit them so that he could
see us with the foster mom and have her say to him that we are his family.
And videotape it! She agreed that this was a good idea and said that we
could have a short meeting with the family on Friday morning.
During the drive she explained to us that he is very strong willed and
that he is pretty much always in a good mood as long as he gets what he
wants. And the fmom always lets him get what he wants. The few times that
he doesn’t, he’ll have a sit-down, crying, temper tantrum. Jane told us
specifically that we were to let him have whatever he wanted this week.
She also said that we were to keep him exactly on the schedule that he is
used to. Well,…he is used to sleeping 11pm-8am and 1-3pm and eating
and/or taking bottles every few hours. More like what we would think of as
a baby’s schedule. It wasn’t long before even Jane had to alter the
schedule because some appointments line up with his sleep time. So I guess
we’re all doing the best we can.

We arrived at the hotel in time to eat a bit, unpack a little, and get
ready to meet GG. Our hotel is fine/nice, but I will say my
earlier arrogance about enjoying beds in China is now humble pie. Our beds
here feel like a piece of plywood with a thin layer of cotton batting on
top. Or like sleeping on a box spring. I tried to turn on my side several
times last night but gave up when my hip bone started drilling into the
wood.

Anyway, so back to the reason we’re here…
We arrived in the Civil Affairs office, which happens to be the 4th floor
of a hotel. Wearing masks, we were ushered into a playroom where we saw a
couple workers and 2 children. The little boy in the center of the room
was already crying pretty hard with a orphanage staff person. When he
turned around and saw the five of us enter with masks, he turned up the
volume. Crying, crying, crying. I approached with Jane and sat down on the
floor with him. Within seconds, I asked to pull down my mask and she
allowed it. The others stayed on the perimeter for a little while, taking
photos and videotaping. LilDude wandered in and out of the area. I blew
bubbles with GG and the staff person. He’d momentarily stop crying to
blow, but then start up again like gangbusters. He kept repeating phrases
in Chinese. “I go home.” “Granny!” (in Chinese, what he calls fmom) And “I want to
sleep.” The orphanage worker left and the room cleared of everyone but us
and Jane. She told me to pick him up. I carried him around the room while
he sobbed. Sometimes he’d actively try to get away from me, but mostly he
was just miserable. REALLY miserable. He cried and cried and cried. Did I
say CRIED?!!!!???!!! When he slowed down, they said he was “ready to go.”
They brought a photographer in for a shot of him with Dh and I (for
documents) and then took a good family photo. We’re having the family
photo made into a souvenir.

We returned to the hotel where I proceeded to hold him on my lap from
about 4:45 until 8pm. In that time he would watch people out of the corner
of his eye, refusing to look at anyone. He didn’t want Dh to touch him.
He was okay with me, but he wouldn’t look at me either. He held his Dora
the Explorer doll much of this time. The doll is about 2.5’ tall; he is 3’
tall. Several times he sorta dozed off, seemingly as an escape. His fmom
sent some favorite treats with him, but he refused all eat and drink from
us, including the bottle that was on THE SCHEDULE and was a mandatory part
of the bedtime routine. The bedtime routine went out the window.
Dh took Lizzi & Anakin to eat dinner while I stayed in my chair
with GG and LilDude played Nintendo. GG seemed to improve after they
left, looking more awake and looking around. But it didn’t last long. He
started wailing and wailing, then screaming (I assume) for his foster mom
to return for him. We weren’t alone, as I heard another newly adopted
child screaming a few doors down. Why anyone else would choose to stay on
this floor is beyond me; there’s a lot of unhappy kiddos here. I think
there are at least 5 adoptive families in the hotel.

After awhile, he climbed off my lap. I let him go to see what he’d do.
Sobbing, he walked around the room, collecting all the items he’d arrived
with: his doll, some snacks, a few toys. Then he systematically found all
the toys we’d given him and brought them back to me, heaving sobs. He
seemed to be giving me all my stuff back and packing to leave but didn’t
seem to have any idea of where the door was. I picked him up and held him
as his crying increased to the point that he was gagging. He would have
thrown up, but since he’d refused all eat and drink from us, there was
nothing to urp. He did spit into the toilet, but that was about it. He
finally started talking about sleep again, so I down on the bed with him
and his doll. He turned away from me and looked at the doll and the wall.
Dh and kids returned with food. LilDude and I ate. GG refused everything
including the all-important bottle. BTW, on the bottle…Jane seemed
somewhat taken aback that we had not brought bottle supplies with us.
Bottles, bottle brushes, dishsoap, the works. In Beijing, they said that
we’d be supplied here with a bottle and all other kid-necessary supplies
since we didn’t get one there. At home we wrongly assumed that a 3-year-old
wouldn’t use a bottle. Jane says that orphanage children (including ones
in foster homes) typically get bottles until age FIVE in order to receive
adequate nutrition. She was VERY insistent that we give him a certain
amount of bottles/milk each day. So far that seems to be impossible.
At some point, Dh sat near him on the bed. I moved to the perimeter for
the first time since we’d received him. He was still lying down,
occasionally crying, so Anakin decided to put the Chinese lullaby CD on.
As soon as the CD went on, GG started looking around to see where it was
coming from. Anakin then put a fireworks screensaver on that moved to the
music. He moved it to the nightstand where GG watched with rapt attention.
Dh moved closer. And closer. And closer. Til he was snuggled up next to
him, rubbing his back. GG acted quite sleepy. I nixed mandatory bedtime
routine #2, bathtime (not wanting to start the crying again, which seemed
to start each time we tried to have him do something), and washing him off
with a warm washcloth on the bed instead. I put his pjs on, gave him a
lotion massage and figured that was it.

Up to this point, he’d been either sobbing, quietly crying, completely
trying to avoid us, or sleeping. Really grieving HARD. LilDude approached
him with my neck pillow on his head, a la Queen Amadala. GG quietly
smiled. Then laughed. Then LilDude started doing the “1000 funny faces” that
he does so well. GG laughed and laughed. Then they got out balls to throw
(that so far he’d only thrown a couple times…mostly just clung to) and
laughed more as LilDude melodramatically threw himself on the bed each time
GG threw the ball. The uproarious behavior continued for at least an hour.
Then he was tired. We all went to bed. He slept through the night. Sat up
in bed a couple of times. I just pointed him toward his doll and he went
back to sleep. He had one hand on my shoulder much of the night. Seemed
pretty relaxed.

Wow. And that’s only one day’s worth. Now to catch up about today. More
soon…

Current prayer request: LilDude has a fever and a cough. It’s just a cold,
but it’s bad timing. Please pray for QUICK recovery. And that GG doesn’t
get it.

May 17: Orientation, Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City

Smoggy. That’s Beijing. The smog and/or cloud cover was so thick the first
several days here that I finally asked Happy if they ever see the sun. She
assured me that they do for much of the summer. Yesterday at the Great
Wall we had our first small sun sample peeking out from the smog. As a
result the temp was significantly higher. And today, the sky was clear and
the sun out all day. It was warm, although the wind that seems to
frequently blow here helps to keep the temp manageable. Happy says that
the smog has been significantly better ever since the Olympics and the new
regulations regarding # of cars on the road. 5 million cars in Beijing,
with an additional 1,000 added each day.

Following breakfast buffet (sadly our last in Beijing!), we headed to Holt
orientation. Here, we learned more about the Chinese culture and the
adoption process. One question I had, “Why are there less children
available for international adoption?” was answered. According to Les, our
facilitator, significant numbers of children are now being adopted by
Chinese, without penalty. This includes many girls.

At the end of our meeting came the moment we’d all been waiting for…we
finally got to receive the “red book” with new photos and updates of our
child. We were happily surprised to receive the first very happy looking
pictures. The last batch we got in February looked very, very anxious. In
these pictures, the look is one of pure delight. Hopefully that means
there’s been some education about what is about to occur. Hopefully. I
have heard several people including Les say that it’s pretty usual for
children to go to the orphanage for several days prior to the arrival of
the adoptive family. We’ll find out tomorrow. We received face masks that
we’ll be required to wear to the initial meeting. We’re also told that
it’s possible that they may bring the child to our hotel rather than
having us come to the office, so as to avoid too much contact with us. But
we won’t know til we arrive.

We leave our hotel at 5:30 a.m., fly to Guangxi, and meet our child at
3:30. Busy, exciting day. Today is my last day without an Ergo (child
carrier) for awhile. Hard to believe that the day has finally arrived.
It’s been quite the year. After we receive our child, I’ll post when I
can, but my time may obviously be limited.

At lunch we had another family style Chinese meal. Each person gets a tiny
plate on which they can serve themselves whatever they’d like from more
than 10 main dishes on a Lazy Susan in the center of the table. We ate til
we couldn’t eat more…and the table was still full of food. So yum! This was the table AFTER we were finished:

This afternoon we slathered on the suntan lotion for a warm trip to
Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Dh asked Happy a few questions
about the uprising at TS and she was pretty frank about the fact that she
knew almost nothing because it wasn’t in textbooks or accessible on the
internet in China. She couldn’t even begin to say when it happened,
thinking it may have been as far back as the 1960s. I was talking to
another one of the moms about this. While we’re very aware of massive
censorship, government presence, etc., we feel totally oblivious to it
here. It’s much different than what we expected in that sense. We have
experienced some annoyances—loss of access to blogger, for one. Today
Anakin lost his ability to access his Google mail account; we figure that
some filter picked up something and shut him out. But it’s so subtle that
you really forget about it if you aren’t looking.

It was interesting to see Tiananmen Square, with the famous building and
picture of Chairman Mao, but by the time we’d spent several warm hours
slowly walking through the very long Forbidden City, I’d come to a
conclusion. The Forbidden City, Summer Palace, and Temple of Heaven are
all historical sites that seem very much alike. Buildings look similar.
Tons of people. And each has a few very dirty (from all the people’s
fingerprints) windows that you can look through into very, very dark,
unlighted rooms to see a few artifacts. And you have to walk and walk to
see them. I really liked the stories behind them--I especially want to go
home and read about “The Dragon Lady”—but as far as getting a lot out of
seeing the actual buildings, well, I could take it or leave it. I loved
the Great Wall because it was different. Hutong because it was a slice of
real, contemporary life. Acrobats, tea house, and silk factory because
they were fascinating. But the historical buildings? Eh, not so much. I
think I enjoyed watching the tourists in each location more than I enjoyed
the actual tours. And it wasn’t for lack of a great guide. We love Happy.
And China.

Well, that’s it until I’m a mom to five. Next post from Guangxi.